I know this is not much for most people (thank God), but I am honestly glad that this autumn, I have
-at a party, initiated contact,gave a compliment, have danced with, had chatted with, stated my exact intentions, made out and said goodbye to a guy WITHOUT feeling guilty for blue-ball-giving or otherwise being unreasonable. I remember times when even saying out loud that I have limited intentions was impossible for me, I was so ashamed.
-I have proven to be better at mingling and starting conversations with interesting strangers
-had proposed to a friend with whom I have once watched a horror movie with (I'm not into horror, usually) that next time I'd like to cuddle
-actually, talking about it, I just remember an other initiative I had, it was basically welcome but severely limited by a deadline imposed by external circumstances, but still. I have said it after having heard a come-on from him already, but it was a kind of step towards intimacy I usually wouldn't risk taking (with the voice in my had saying stuff like "what the hell was I even thinking, am I blind, of COURSE he didn't want to, what a fool have I made of myself even by asking").
So, the rest of the year, here I come! (ps: at accepting refusal and backing off I think I am good at, the problem used to be that I have accepted it even before it could be given - before the question was raised at all.)
ps: I am good at talking with guys who I suppose aren't romantically or sexually interested, I can be friends and serious, the specific problem I was discussing was strictly about more flirty situations.
Major hoorays for ACTUALLY having your sexuality and the way you express yourself go the way you want them to. That can be a tough thing to learn to do... I feel your joy!
Posts: 545 | From: Leeds UK | Registered: May 2011
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