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Author Topic: How My Weirdness ROCKS
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Was reminded by someone today of some things I was talking about here, a while ago: http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/01/27/am_i_normal_who_cares

Consider this thread a Freak Flagpost, where you get to hang yours and know you and everyone else are all WHOOHOO! about it.

So, what do you think is weird about you or your life and how freaking awesome is it?

For example, it's not like most people take up the job that I do, or do it the way that I do. I mean, I've got a weird job that can create silence at parties when people are sharing what they do and then it's my turn and I say that I do this. But I LOVE what I do, I love my weird job, I feel lucky to be able to do it.

Or, I have a hand disability. It makes one of my hands look pretty unusual, and I certainly have to work a lot harder to do some things other people find easy. But I also think that makes, for instance, the fact that I learned to adapt to keep playing instruments awesome. One of my funky fingers has no nail or hard bone, which means that when someone has something in their eye, I can help get it out without fear of scratching them. It also has helped me be a lot more relaxed about my body and everyone else's body, which is quite a gift.

I don't mind being sad, or even really upset. I kind of view it as a process to get to growth, as well as just one of many ways we feel in life. So, when I feel sad, rather than trying to avid it, I tend to dig in and really GO THERE. I make art around it, I talk about it, I let it be and let myself be sad, even really, really sad. I guess that's weird, but I think it's pretty awesome, because to me, that feels like part of really living life, and also helps me be less afraid of things, since I'm not afraid of being sad or feeling like it's something I have to avoid.

What about you?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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JackT
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I guess there's many things about me that could be considered weird by some. For a start, I don't mind feeling sad, it's something I used to avoid, and instead it lead me to behavior that was self destructive. I used to smoke pot every day, which I quit. And I nearly died one night drinking way too much. Since those bad times I've found ways to live better, and not taken myself so seriously by letting go of guilt.

I've since learnt being sad and using that as motivation is a great way to be a decent person to those you care about.

I like learning things, reading. My friends find it weird how much I read about certain things. I'm especially interested in history and current events, but I also love chemistry, psychology philosophy, art. I just enjoy learning or doing something creative.
My friends also find my taste in music strange, because I listen to a wide range of genres.

People find it odd that despite being intelligent I'm not a perfect student. I'm not striving for the perfect life. I'd rather focus on my personal happiness then spend time chasing after a dream that isn't mine. At 18 I don't think I should have my life mapped out... I know many people who chose courses in uni that they didn't end up completing because they did it to please others.

If I enter university, it will be to achieve my own goals, and do something I'm interested in.

I don't claim to be perfect, I don't want to be perfect. I just want to be myself, and try to figure out who I really am. If that's weird, then I sure as hell don't want to be normal. [Smile]

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eryn_smiles
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:

I don't mind being sad, or even really upset. I kind of view it as a process to get to growth, as well as just one of many ways we feel in life. So, when I feel sad, rather than trying to avid it, I tend to dig in and really GO THERE. I make art around it, I talk about it, I let it be and let myself be sad, even really, really sad. I guess that's weird, but I think it's pretty awesome, because to me, that feels like part of really living life, and also helps me be less afraid of things, since I'm not afraid of being sad or feeling like it's something I have to avoid.


Not to derail the thread, but I am interested to hear more about this. Isn't it very tough when you let yourself be really sad? How do you stop it from getting out of hand, like when you're so sad you can't get out of bed or might think of harming yourself (for example)?

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, IME, it's all about learning the ways you can feel and express it that don't take you to those kinds of places. (Mind, sadness by itself is not the same as serious depression -- not being able to get out of bed for a long time -- or self-injury impulses.)

So, like I said, for me, art has been a biggie: I'll spend hours sometimes, even a whole, long night, camped out at my piano, or a whole day with my camera.

Is it really tough? Yes, but it's also where I'm at. Life is freaking tough sometimes. I don't think avoidance is any tougher, nor is trying to just make feelings I'm feeling go away. Being in them and just kind of aiding them in running their course feels less tough to me most of the time than trying to pretend they're not there.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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thumb tack
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Oh you just reminded me, once (only once) I really, really felt anger. and instead of pushing it away or lashing out or anything I just really concentrated on how it felt - emotionally and physically. And it was amazing!!! And then it went away and never came back [Smile]

but what's weird about me? I can find a way to relate ANYTHING to food. (eg. laying down bricks to build a wall: kinda like making a cake, really)

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Kawani3792
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I can do what my family calls my Freaky Finger Thing (twisting my fingers around to the point where people either wince and ask if it hurts, or go "awesome!!"), pop my shoulders out of their sockets, wiggle my kneecaps, put my feet behind my head, twist my arm behind my head and cup my chin in my hand (it's pretty cool, honestly, it looks like I'm holding my head and it's not attached anywhere).
Yeah, this is all due to a genetic defect, but I like it. I'm different, and I like being different! I'm interesting and it's fun.

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Spelaea
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There's too much weirdness to me to list here. And that's an awesome feeling.

[ 10-29-2011, 01:05 AM: Message edited by: Spelaea ]

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Saffron Raymie
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Hehe Spelaea, awesome post!

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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mizchastain
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I kind of like having Aspergers'. It's not severe enough to cause me a serious problem in life, just enough to make things awkward sometimes, but at the same time it gives me a few bonuses; there is evidence it improves one's memory for information, and I do have the ability to remember interesting random facts or quote funny things I've seen exactly when telling friends about them. I don't see the world the same way other people do, but now I'm learning to overcome the difficulties, it's just different enough to be interesting.
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Jill2000Plus
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I like having aspergers and ADHD too, it's kind of complicated, because I don't like other people minimising the difficulties they cause in my life, but I don't think they're nothing but trouble. What mizchastain said has made me angry at people who have tried to convince me that I'm not objective, I used to know I was, and then these intrusive thoughts got really bad because of various external factors and I've lost so much confidence in myself, but I want to get that back. And I'm totally in agreement about the whole quoting things verbatim thing, I do have a good memory, and I want to hone it.

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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WesLuck
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I'm weird because I know there's no normal.
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Kawani3792
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me to doctor: I am really freaking out. Panic attacks.
Doctor: don't want to just put you on meds. Here, heart ultrasound. You see heart is normal, no more panic attacks!
Ultrasounds results: heart muscle is weak.
Me to doctor: is this going to kill me in, like, the next year?
Doctor, confused: no
Me to parents and thankfully understanding doctor: YES! I TOLD you! I knew something was wrong!
Cardiologist to me: I don't think we'll see anything, but give EKG just in case.
EKg results: abnormal
Me: slightly muted smile
Me to mom: hospital. Scared. Now!
Hospital: chest xray, three vials blood. Blood is normal
Hospital call next day: follow up with regular doc. Xray weird.
Me to doc: hi again!
Doc: xray again.
Results: mass on right aide of chest
Doc: CT scan!
Me *eyeroll*
Parents: thank goodness dad has government job and our health insurance rocks.
CT scan results: pectus excavatum, dented-in rib cage is shoving heart all the way to the left. No mass-couldn't see heart on right side because heart isn't there.
Me: awesome, an actual deformity!
Doc: also found slight lesion on a vertebra. MRI now.
Me: wow. Yay for good insurance!
MRI tech: so, why are you here?
Me: something about a lesion on my T10 vertebra
Tech: having back pain?
Me: no. The CT scan found it.
Tech: why the CT scan?
Me: explains
Tech: openmouthed
Me: keep telling them there's stuff wrong with me. They finally believe me now.

MRI results will be found out next week. I have summed up major points of these conversations. And all of this has happened in the past month. The heart ultrasound was the first of November. Making half the doctors in a small town look at me in shock because not only am I right, I am also fairly rare to have this much weird stuff, is very fun. As long as I keep hearing that I am basically a freak, but not one who will die soon.
My question: is it still hypochondria if I am actually right about it all? After all, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.

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Kawani3792
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me to doctor: I am really freaking out. Panic attacks.
Doctor: don't want to just put you on meds. Here, heart ultrasound. You see heart is normal, no more panic attacks!
Ultrasounds results: heart muscle is weak.
Me to doctor: is this going to kill me in, like, the next year?
Doctor, confused: no
Me to parents and thankfully understanding doctor: YES! I TOLD you! I knew something was wrong!
Cardiologist to me: I don't think we'll see anything, but give EKG just in case.
EKg results: abnormal
Me: slightly muted smile
Me to mom: hospital. Scared. Now!
Hospital: chest xray, three vials blood. Blood is normal
Hospital call next day: follow up with regular doc. Xray weird.
Me to doc: hi again!
Doc: xray again.
Results: mass on right aide of chest
Doc: CT scan!
Me *eyeroll*
Parents: thank goodness dad has government job and our health insurance rocks.
CT scan results: pectus excavatum, dented-in rib cage is shoving heart all the way to the left. No mass-couldn't see heart on right side because heart isn't there.
Me: awesome, an actual deformity!
Doc: also found slight lesion on a vertebra. MRI now.
Me: wow. Yay for good insurance!
MRI tech: so, why are you here?
Me: something about a lesion on my T10 vertebra
Tech: having back pain?
Me: no. The CT scan found it.
Tech: why the CT scan?
Me: explains
Tech: openmouthed
Me: keep telling them there's stuff wrong with me. They finally believe me now.

MRI results will be found out next week. I have summed up major points of these conversations. And all of this has happened in the past month. The heart ultrasound was the first of November. Making half the doctors in a small town look at me in shock because not only am I right, I am also fairly rare to have this much weird stuff, is very fun. As long as I keep hearing that I am basically a freak, but not one who will die soon.
My question: is it still hypochondria if I am actually right about it all? After all, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.

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Kawani3792
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ugh, I don't know why it double posted, sorry about that!
Could someone delete one of those posts above, plus this one?

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