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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do I talk to him about a relationship?

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Author Topic: How do I talk to him about a relationship?
smileyychik
Neophyte
Member # 110856

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So me and my ex have been talking for awhile now. We've also kinda been having sex despite him being in a relationship. But they recently broke up. Now, he did tell me he likes me and has been giving me signs that he does (kissing me when I leave, saying I love you all the time, etc) but the other day he told me how he was upset that I only text him to sext and never just talk and later he said "Except for you but you don't matter... well to some people you don't matter but I love you so you matter to me" think I should try and talk to him about getting back together or wait for something to happen. If I say something what should I say?
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OhImpecuniousOne
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Do you want to be in a relationship with him? That first step seems to be sort of missing from your post. [Smile]
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smileyychik
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I do but if he doesn't want to, it'd be ok
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Personally, I think entering into a relationship -- especially one that sounds like it's pretty loaded -- should be something we feel more strongly about than that.

After all, intimate relationships ask a lot of us.

How about perhaps thinking for a few more days so you can at least have a better idea of what you want, for yourself? And giving him some real time to get over this breakup first so you don't just get on the fast train to Rebound City?

And maybe also at least, if you do decide you want to pursue this, and after he does get time to first get over his recent breakup, talk together about how you each feel at a time when one of you is not upset?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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smileyychik
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Well I really would like to be with him but I don't want to force him into something because in his last relationship, he was almost trapped by his girlfriend and I don't want him to be scared of leaving me if he's not happy or anything like that. But I probably will just try and talk to him so I can figure out what's going on. It's going to be hard though because neither of us like talking about feelings but me and him are really close so hopefully something will get said.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I think then it sounds doubly important you first just give him time to deal with the last breakup and recoup before starting anything else.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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