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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How Young/Old Should You Go?

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Author Topic: How Young/Old Should You Go?
Member # 110549

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In January this year, I met this guy that I'm totally in love with. We had talked for a month, and on February 16th, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes, because I fell in love with him before I even knew it. It's been almost five months that we've been together, and he's made me so happy. He makes me believe that I have a future and it's possible for someone to actually love me. But there's a problem.

He's 17 and I'm 14. He lives in Pennsylvania while I live in Massachusetts. I know it's only a few states away, but I get nervous about thinking of the day of meeting him.

My question is, should we be dating? I know the risks of talking to someone you've never met, but I trust him. But I've read online, about 17 year old males getting in trouble of dating a 14 year old girl and vice versa. We're not together, so there's no risk of me getting pregnant or anything else. But is it still possible for him to get in trouble even though it's a long distance relationship? If we were together, what would be the limitations of us before he could into trouble?

Posts: 2 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 41699

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Being in a relationship when one person is a minor isn't illegal, only sexual activity is. So, neither of you should get in any legal trouble for the relationship itself. Each state has different laws around the age of consent, so depending on what state you meet up in (if/when you do), the laws may differ.

Age of consent in most states is 16, but there are a lot of different rules concerning the amount of age difference between the two people (it tends to be that the penalty is less harsh or non-existent if the age difference is only 2 years). What is defined as sexual activity may also differ, although I think often the laws are most concerned with (PIV) intercourse. So if sex is something you're planning in the near future, you'll want to look into that closely to make sure no laws are being broken.

But again, that's only something to be worried about when it comes to sexual activity -- there's nothing illegal about the relationship itself [Smile]

Have you seen our articles on online dating and age differences in relationships?
What's Age Got to Do with It?
(some of the stuff in there won't apply to you since they're about BIG age differences, but some other things will [Smile] )
Getting Real: Relationships on the Net
Going the Distance: a Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships

Hope those help! [Smile]

[ 06-12-2014, 11:17 AM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 110549

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Thank you, that helped a lot. I guess my anxiety just got to me since it's my first real relationship. I just don't want to get him in trouble but I don't want to hurt him either.
Posts: 2 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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