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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Would you believe your boyfriend over his ex girlfriend?

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Author Topic: Would you believe your boyfriend over his ex girlfriend?
kandiss204
Neophyte
Member # 109315

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the girl text> You been ready for me to talk, so he didn't care if I texted you considering the fact he gave me your number lol those 3 way calls I was on the phone right along with lying. To be honest with you I'm not gone fill your head up like he been doing nor am I. he be saying disrespectful things about your mom and he said she about to have another baby and he had to finish raising you. He said you got a baby brother to. We do talk just not around you. Secondly, he said he made you who you are today which is true. He said you too clingy, that you keep wearing his stuff or sum shit and that you need your parents. I asked him where your daddy was he said somewhere in the service lol I seen he last week as well as that gold chain. And how come you can't get alone so well with your mom? He said you only good for getting fucked and helping him on them bills. The times I text you, I know you are around that's why I text and call. He said he still gotta drive you around and that you can't do shit for yourself..he also told me you got low self esteem lol he said everything he do, you do it. He also told me that you changed the way you look just for him lol, he told me you tried to get him to stop smoking and drinking, then you started to because he did. remember when he use to hit you? He was using steroids lol do you wanna hear about tatiyana ? You only found out about her because she was a sideline. When you was suppose to go to Cali she was the back up..when you didn't go jay got pissed lol But since you didn't go she ain't there nomore. jay said you young and dumb and I asked him your mom name he said rosa because he called her out her name and he said he took you out the house to early because you can barely cook and you are still a little girl. He said you be at the house acting like you never had a older guy before because he said you can't do nothing for yourself and you depend on him for everything. He also told me he looking for an apartment. Then he told me you be buying him expensive shit like a dumb ***. He told me you are annoying. He said you keep asking " like this" "like that" and "comment on that" he said you are crazy because you keep repeatedly taking pictures of him likes he's a ******* model. he said he was the one who taught you how to fight because he said you couldn't fight at all. Yhen he said you can barely drive. He told me you failed the driver test nearly 9 times lol Then he said he want a grown woman because you don't know how to live without his help. he also told me about the weave you be doing yourself. I'm gone stop right that. I text from different numbers because he said you be getting his phone checking for them. If you quit looking through his phone for me I wouldn't be doing this. You need a place to stay at not me or him.
Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

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Nearly all of the content of that message is deeply disrespectful to you, and I'm so sorry that someone sent it to you and that you're going through this.

One thing that we can be sure of, regardless of anything else, is that the person who wrote it and sent it is behaving very poorly and is not keeping to basic, respectful boundaries with you. No-one should send something like that, for any reason.

When two people are telling us different things, it can be very difficult to figure out the truth and what's really going on. In your other post, you said that your boyfriend had told you that he doesn't have contact with this ex and that he doesn't want to have contact with her. You said that he told you he had blocked her, but in fact he had not blocked her. Right there is an example of him lying to you. If we know that someone's lying to us, it makes sense to think that they may be lying about other things too. You also said that sometimes when she calls, he hands the phone to you to answer. That does not sound like a thing that someone would do if they really wanted no contact: they would hang up without answering, block the number, or get a new phone number. Passing the phone to you sounds as if he Wants you to know that the ex is calling, for whatever reason. It sounds like he's trying to create drama and tension between you and the ex.

In that message, it says he used to hit you. Is that right? If it is, that's a very strong sign that he is not a person who is safe to be around and that he is not a person who genuinely cares for you and who has your best interests at heart.

Can I ask what positives you think there would be for you in believing him and staying with him?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kandiss204
Neophyte
Member # 109315

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hes not trying to create tension between me and the ex. the ex was telling me the truth because he already have tried to hide who she really was to me. i went to the police station today and found out that there was no report filed. only a disturbance notation under their names
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I think it would be helpful, and is really important, to think about, and write a little about, that last question Redskies asked in her response to you.

Can you tell us a little about your thoughts on that?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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