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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Am I dating a player??

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Author Topic: Am I dating a player??
Member # 50738

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I am so confused right now

I have been dating this guy for about 2 months now andI don't know whther he's a player or not.

When I first met him, he seemed dead nice and funny and when I found him on a social network i found out he was friends with my best mates brother

He passes on a message to my best friend to tell me he's a player.

When we first met he told me he's cheated in the past on one occasion and i thought that was pretty honest so I let it slide at first.

It was going well untill he decided to go on a date with his ex girlfriend (well it was a meet up for dinner) and i was annoyed because before this he was slagging her off telling me that shes a phyco and a control freak and it was like he was using me to get out of it which isnt fair.

The day after he made no effort to meet me so i confronted me and i thought things were sorted.
But minutes before i ring him this girl adds me whos a mutual friend with him. I ask him who is this girl and he says roughly

"Before i met you we were having casual sex and but now ive met you im trying to let her down gently"


On sunday i slept at his and he tells me that she crashed at his and nothing happened and shes been crying on his shoulder telling him all her problems (He couldn't look at me in the face saying this)but now she's telling everyone that she's fallen inlove with him .

but then me being stupid I've slept with him and now he's not said a word to me today

He's said all that im stunning and he thinks dating is going well but now i have feelings for him but i don't trust him

What the hell do I do :\

Posts: 28 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Let's maybe start with this: I hear you saying you don't trust this guy.

So, what would you need to trust him? And while you are still just getting to know him and finding out if he is trustworthy, what kind of relationship will be safe for you to have with him, and do you want?

In other words, is that something where more casual dating would feel better, or not being sexual, or does even casual dating without sex not feel right to you while you're figuring out if he's trustworthy and in earnest with you?

I mean, clearly, it sounds likely this person is not being exclusive with you right now: have you two agreed to that? If not, is that something you want? Is it something you two have talked about at all yet? If not, and you do want to keep seeing this guy, how about bringing this to one of your next conversations?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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