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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do you know if a guy likes you?

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Author Topic: How do you know if a guy likes you?
Supermeggs14
Neophyte
Member # 108406

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So, I've been pretty confused about a guy lately so could anyone help me?

I really liked this guy, so I figured I had nothing to lose by telling him the truth. Here's what happened:

"I like you, and think you're cute. What do you think of me?" I whispered.

"You're awesome," he said.

"Do you like me?" I asked.

"Yeah, I like you."

But then I was confused because my friend told me that he might've only meant he liked me as a friend. So I asked again did he like-like me and he said, "I don't know". The next day, I ignored him and he kept staring at me always wanted to be near me. Plus, I heard one of his guy friends say, "She's probably just playing hard to get". I decided to stop ignoring him, so I started texting him. The only reason I ever ignored him was because his answer confused me. 

I saw him today for the first time in two months, and I ask, "Do you like me?" and he says, "No, not in that way, as a friend. I only see you once a week!" And he totally denied ever admitting to liking me. I was really hurt by his rejection, but I successfully moved on. Although, he acts really strange around me. He never makes eye contact, even though he always comes near me. I'll tell a really funny joke, then everyone will laugh, except him, even though he did before. It's also pretty strange how he's always somewhere near me.

Before he knew that I liked him he'd act like this: he would flirt with me(he never flirted with anyone else, ever). And every time I came near him, his brother would start smiling like crazy at both of us.

I should let you know, we're 14. He can be very immature at times, like the typical outgoing joker type. He's never had a gf, and has no sisters. I don't understand him at all.

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A hopeless romantic who hates sexism, a rebel without a cause who loves daydreaming, a singer who can't sing. That's who I am <3.

Posts: 2 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
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That certainly sounds like a confusing situation!

I think that when we're talking about "liking" someone, that can mean a lot of things. It can mean liking someone as a friend, not knowing a person well but admiring them or thinking "I bet they'd be really interesting to get to know better," wanting to date or be physically close to someone... those are all a little different and while those feelings might all overlap at times, if you're wondering if someone has a crush on you and they're thinking "wow, you seem neat and I'd be interested in getting to know you" then "I like you" is a pretty vague statement that can be easy to misinterpret or be confused by.

So it could be that this guy wasn't sure exactly what you meant when you were saying you liked him and wasn't sure what would be an appropriate way to respond. Maybe he felt put on the spot and didn't have super-strong feelings for you but wanted to respond positively. It could be that he had a crush on you and it faded since the two of you didn't talk for a while or for some other reason. Maybe he's just sorting out his own feelings and isn't sure how to articulate how he's feeling at all right now.

In general, I think people who like you will be friendly - that might include flirting, or initiating conversations, or having open and welcoming body language. But if a person's shy, they might be avoidant or quiet around you. There's no sure-fire way to KNOW what someone's feelings are. I do commend you for being direct about your feelings; it sounds like the result was a bit confusing for you, and I'm sorry to hear that, but in general I think being open about how you feel is a good idea!

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Supermeggs14
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Member # 108406

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Thank you [Smile] . Your posted helped me a lot!! But anyways, I don't think I would've confused him about what I meant. I did say, "I like you, and I think you're cute". To me, I just thought I made if pretty clear that I liked him, in a romantic way.

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A hopeless romantic who hates sexism, a rebel without a cause who loves daydreaming, a singer who can't sing. That's who I am <3.

Posts: 2 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 101745

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Some people are pretty good at reading those sorts of signals, and others are less so. It sounds like you were being pretty direct, but you can't always assume that someone else will pick up on it, especially if they're a person who hasn't had a lot of dating experience. =)
Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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