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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Break-up woes

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Author Topic: Break-up woes
Member # 43289

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So, my long distance significant and I broke up about a month ago. I posted all about it here:

In January he moved into a new apartment assuming that I would move in with him and pay half of the rent. I told him that I would only move in with him if I found a paid job or internship in UK that paid a liveable wage, otherwise our plans would have to be put on hold. He went ahead and signed a lease on an apartment that he could not afford be himself.

Even though I never lived in that apartment (except for a 2 week visit) and my name is not on the lease, he is demanding that I pay him "my half" of the rent. This amount of money is by no means insubstantial. There is absolutely no way that I could pay him even if I wanted to (while still paying for my own rent, tuition and food). Also, to make matters worse, I left some of my stuff there that I really, really want back. He won't give me my stuff back until I pay him. He emails me constantly about how he's deeply in debt over this and needs me to pay him. I've just been ignoring him.

I'm kind of worried that when I move over there (on my own, to my own place) in the Fall for grad school that he might try to stalk me or take legal action. What should I do?

Posts: 63 | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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Member # 90293

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Hi pantokrator,

From what you've described, there is no legal action he could take that would stick. Since your name wasn't on the lease, and you didn't sign any other sort of binding contract, you have no legal obligation to give him this money.

If you are concerned that he will stalk you in person, I strongly suggest doing whatever you can to ensure that he won't know where you are.

I'm honestly not sure what you can do to get your stuff back, and again, you're not obligated legally to pay him.

So, it really is up to you what you do from here. A couple options are:

Contact him and make clear that he isn't getting any money from you and he needs to stop contacting you. From what you've described here, this probably means you won't see your stuff again.

or, if you choose, you can figure out how to find the money, give him what he's asking for, get your stuff back, and ask him never to contact you again.

They're both crappy choices, I know.

if you feel like you need it, do you have any friends or family who can support you with this? Does anyone in your life know what is going on?


Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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