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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » So things are a bit fast for my liking....

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Author Topic: So things are a bit fast for my liking....
pyrotech
Neophyte
Member # 107386

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Well, it's been a few months since my dad moved out and life is ok. I see him every once in a while, I still have my friends support when needed, I am still able to talk with my sister, lifes good. One thing kinda threw me a loop though: About a month after my dad left my mom signed up for online dating. Now I know my mom just left my dad but they where married eighteen years for crying out loud! You'd think she might be a bit beat up over it, I mean, I knew this was going to happen eventually, but I thought it would be by the time I moved out in a few years, not a month after my dad moves out! ...I'm just not sure what to think and I guess I could use some advice. If you can throw some words of wisdom my way, thanks. If not, thanks for taking time out of your day to read this, I appreciate it.

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Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey there, pyrotech.

I think one thing we often can't know in a situation like this is how long a couple has been going south.

In other words, while I've no doubt this seems fast to you, it may be your parents have been having issues, or that one or both of them have even been, effectively, totally done with their romantic or sexual relationships for many months or even years before you even know anything was up.

I also don't think that it's sound to assume that your mother looking into dating can tell you how she's feeling about she and your Dad splitting up.

But really, it sounds like the issue here might actually be you being given too much information from your mother about her personal life right now. perhaps you can talk to her about how you're feeling about this, and also ask that she maybe filters a bit more of her life in this respect from you, especially given that you will obviously have your own hurt and tough feelings around your parent's split?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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pyrotech
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Member # 107386

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The advice was good except for one thing I should have mentioned earlier: she didn't tell me, I found this out on my own. I saw her browsing, logging ito accounts, and even found a zoosk messenger program on the dashboard of my user on the family computer. Now knowing this does it change what you said earlier?

--------------------
Cheers!
Pyro.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, it does in one way, because ultimately, what we find on our own like this really is on us, not the other person.

But I still think you can talk to her about your feelings with all of this. After all, no matter how you found out doesn't change your feelings about it.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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pyrotech
Neophyte
Member # 107386

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Alright, I'll give that a try and see how it goes, thanks Heather.

--------------------
Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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