I had a question about how to tell if a guy is as into you as you are into him. I really like the guy I've been dating (we've been going out for about three months now), but sometimes I have a hard time believing that he likes me as much as I like him. He's not very talkative, so I'm usually the one initiating conversations. And I'm also usually the one saying that I like him or that I miss him first.
What's going on here? Am I in a relationship that's fueled only by me? I don't want to date somebody who isn't into me. Help!
Posts: 205 | Registered: Aug 2011
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You know, I think it's always iffy to quantify like or love like this, as if there's some way people can or can't be "equal" with it.
I say that, because the way we like, or are into people, varies in more ways than just more or less, and more and less are not so great at describing these kinds of feelings.
Maybe we can instead talk about mutual interest? As in, you're interested in this guy in certain ways, and to certain degrees as you experience them: is he feeling similarly?
I'd say the way we best sort that out is just by talking about our feelings together, with us describing how we feel about them and vice-versa. We can also just be attentive to actions and gestures someone makes: do we feel like they're showing us interest and like? Do they seem, in how they act and what they say, like they're as motivated as we are to pursue and be in the kind of relationship we are together?
Are YOU feeling like you're doing all the driving here, or expressing all the interest? If so, have you talked with him about that?
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