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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Don't really know what to do.

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Author Topic: Don't really know what to do.
Lavica
Neophyte
Member # 107745

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So there's this guy, we've known each other for almost two years and throughout them we've always been on and off. In the beginning all we ever did was fight, he had major jealously issues and we never really did see eye to eye on things. We're two completely different people.

Some time passed and some things happened and he changed for the better and for a while things were going good. Things started to get serious, he met my family and I his and we'd talk about our future like we had a clue. When it came to sex, we could freely talk about it and he never really pressured me into it. I'm seventeen and a virgin, and it's not that I'm not ready, I'm just afraid of what'll happen after, how I'll feel, which will probably mostly be regret if I only after realize it was with the wrong guy you know? And then there's also the fear of pregnancy and all that lovely stuff. I talked with my mom about it, about the issue and just sex in general, she was understanding and helpful but didn't really answer all my questions. Why is sex so frustrating? Maybe I'm making it harder than it should be. [Confused]

Do I love him? I don't know. Am I attracted to him? Hell yeah. I'm starting to think it's more lust than it is love. Some more time passed and his mom decided to send him back to his dad after some events so he ended up moving three states away and we tried the whole long distance thing but it didn't really work out. Does it ever? Then we were friends and he came to visit this past April for a week. And theeen we got back together again. Confusing, I know.

When he left I didn't hear from him for a good three weeks, of course I began to worry and then I got a text from an unknown number, apparently he had lost his phone and got a new one. He also got a job, and we didn't really talk as much as we used to, maybe he really was busy but I know work doesn't take every second of everyday. When we did, I tried to reconnect with him but he'd always push me away, give me half butt replies. I thought maybe there was another girl, and if there was it wouldn't be the first time I'm right.

So one night we're talking and it's the same stuff, he's not putting in any effort and I was curious so I throw out that we should have sex and that quickly snapped him out of it. Text after text, the most I've ever gotten from him in weeks, he talks about how he's so exited and can't wait, blah blah blah, and I'm just sitting there like... You really think I'm an idiot, don't you?

I want him in my life, but not just for sex. I know I should tell him that but I feel that when I do, when I say: "Hey about us having sex, I was just kidding to see if you'd stop acting as if I don't exist." that'll be the last time I ever talk to him.

What do I do? :/

[ 06-18-2013, 01:55 PM: Message edited by: Lavica ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sounds like you know what to do here already, which is make clear to this guy that you don't want a relationship that's only about sex, and you're not at all excited about the prospect of sex at this point when it seems to you like that's the only thing that gets him acting attentive.

Eh?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Lavica
Neophyte
Member # 107745

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Exactly! Thanks for reading, appreciate the help! [Smile]
Posts: 2 | From: Texas | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You're welcome. [Smile]

So, how about putting all of that out there to him and seeing what he comes back with?

Or, if you feel pretty strongly you already know he doesn't want what you want, letting this go and figuring you can trust your own observations and feelings?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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