As you guys can see, I've had issues letting go of my past. That being said, I can't hold something horrible in for a long time because it'll begin to eat at me.
Today, I came clean to my boyfriend about the two times I kissed my ex while we were dating for almost 2-3 months. Thing is, I lied about how it lead up to it if it makes sense. My ex split his shoulder and I was still somewhat trying to get over him but I felt horrible and I went to give him soup. My friend walked me to his house and then left. My ex and I talked and caught up on old times and he kissed me as I was leaving his house once it was time for me to go. Nothing more than a kiss happened.
Today, I told my boyfriend that my friend had stayed with me the whole time and that I got upset because he wanted to do something sexual with my friend but he still kissed me goodbye. The main thing I wanted to get out was that WE KISSED. I didn't think the details mattered so much at that time.
When I confessed months ago about the more serious encounter with my bf, I told him I was drunk when my ex came over. I only told him that because I MYSELF did not want to remember what happened but I did tell him I remembered exactly what happened and I told him everything that happened that day. Drunk or not, it doesn't justify it at all.
My question is, why is my past still haunting me? I've been loyal and nothing but honest since I confessed about the latest cheating (March) and I have zero contact with my ex.
Me sparing the details, does that honestly make it worse? I guess I randomly added in stupid information to not make him as upset with me. It was selfish but I feel if I go back ONCE more and tell him, he'll just be more mad!
Posts: 26 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Nov 2012
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We really can't know the answer to this question. Why do YOU think you remain so bothered by this, and what do you think you need to let it go?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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