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pyrotech
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(A quick apology to the mods for the previous mispost, you can delete that one. Sorry guys!)

Hi, pyro here.

So about half a week ago my parents sat my sister and I down and told us that they were separating. There wasn't any yelling or fighting or anything, but my dad left the house for good that. My sis was pretty broken up over it and I was kinda fucked up about it too. I think my sisters trying to ignore the situation (she's 14 btw) as opposed to me where I'm just trying to accept and come to terms with this mess. Anyway, my sister and mom aren't really talking to me anymore, not really that I have really talked to my mom in years, but my sister is probably the person I'm closest with because I can talk to her without being judged on most issues. She's also kinda been my anchor to sanity and my keeper in the family so....yeah, this sucks to say the least. I'm not sure how to get to her and I need help.

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Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
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Hi pyro, I'm sorry to hear this is happening. Parents separating is a very hard thing to go through for a lot of people, even if it's on mutual and respectful terms. When your parents sat you and your sister down, did they discuss any kind of counselling or therapy with you guys, either family counselling or one-on-one for any of you? If not, then that's definitely something to consider for yourself, and maybe suggest to your parents if you think they may be open to that. Even when a separation is amicable/mutual, counselling can really help everyone involved come to terms with their feelings and learning to cope with the changing situation and relationships, etc. What do you think?
Posts: 1182 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pyrotech
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Hi Onion

No, my parents did not talk about anything like that. And I know this is kinda an old tune but I honestly don't think I need therapy. And even if I thought I did, moneys going to be tight so its something I want to avoid. Really, I just want actually talk to my sister again. We've barely spoken for a few days and I just want to know if she's Ok, but I don't know how to go about asking.

[ 06-04-2013, 08:19 PM: Message edited by: pyrotech ]

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Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
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Well, if that's something you don't feel is a good fit for you, or isn't accessible for you, you absolutely get to decide that. I just want to make sure you know that you don't have to be in crisis or have something Very Majorly Wrong in your life/with you for therapy to be helpful, in case you held that misconception. Plenty of everyday people go to therapy for help with very everyday problems, really therapy is just a way of figuring out new methods of dealing with any kind of problems, equipping ourselves to better battle the next issue we run into [Smile] There are also sometimes payment/insurance options so that the expense of therapy can be reduced. But as I said, if you don't feel like that's what will help you best here, then that is A-okay, as you are the expert on you [Smile]

What are you looking for in terms of help from us here? Would you like us to help you try to brainstorm potential conversation-starters?

Have you tried starting up any kind of conversation with your sister at all in the past few days? If so, how did she respond? I'm not sure I get why she would avoid talking to you over this -- do you know why? If you do, could you fill me in?

Posts: 1182 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pyrotech
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Member # 107386

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Hiya onion.

Sorry I haven't replied for a while, I've been busy. So anyway as it turns out I actually don't need any help. My sister and I have finally begun talking again and its slow but steady in working to being able to just talk whenever again. Thanks for your help and sorry that in the end I was kinda wasting your time.

--------------------
Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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