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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Am I the wrong one here?

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Author Topic: Am I the wrong one here?
Member # 96153

Icon 4 posted      Profile for ladybug18     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
as of now, i'm confused and bruised which goes to conclusion am I the wrong one here?
I've been in a relationship with this guy for years, we ended things badly in February, so we haven't spoken in months, and I really wanted closure and to just check up on him.

Things went perfectly, I knew that moment he missed me, he even told me. He told me how he was ******* up at uni, friends and even me. Everything went so smoothly, until he asked if I had a boyfriend, no I don't, neither does he have a girlfriend, BUT, I had to ask if he hooked up with anyone, his answer was no, but yes, I did, but we were broken up and I was hurt.

He changed in an instant, said hurtful words, and I just don't know he just changed and made it seem like I was the bad one over here, when really is it my fault that I mentioned hooking up? If i didn't then maybe the conversation would be different. Is it my fault that I hooked up with someone when he was never really there for me those few months? When he can easily ignore me, then talk to me out of nowhere?

I don't know what to do, he later then said sorry for all the stuff he said because he was hurt. Now, he wants nothing to do with me and said that he used to have strong feelings for me but now they're gone.

I'm confused? Why say one thing then change your mind?
What do I do now? Is he really gone? What hurts too, is that he'd rather live without me.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You know, after a breakup, people are allowed to move on. You're supposed to.

That absolutely often includes people seeking out new romantic or sexual relationships.

Really, sounds like this conversation between the two of you maybe wasn't one to have: things ended badly, so asking each other very personal things right off the bat? Probably not so wise.

But, what's done is done, and I don't see answering a question honestly, or having gone ahead and moved on, as something bad. The fact that his feelings are hurt by that isn't something you can control or manage, as well, you can't control if he's saying he feels done. he gets to feel how he feels. Who knows what's going on with him, but I think the long and the short of it is that this is just over, and it sounds like it's probably best for you two not to talk. [Frown]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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