Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » am I superficial?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: am I superficial?
Prozac
Activist
Member # 79657

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Prozac         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So like just today I noticed my boyfriend has super-thick eyebrows. I've never noticed before but now I look at him and all I can see is EYEBROWS! And suddenly the fact that he wears a dog tag but isn't in the military, nobody in his family was in the military, it's just a fashion piece, bothers me.

It never crossed my mind to dump him over this. I heart him (not love, not yet) and I seriously didn't even dream of being like, "You should pluck your eyebrows," or something. But I told my friend A about it and I was just kidding around because I thought it was funny and she told me I was being really superficial and if I cared about my boyfriend then it shouldn't matter. And I was like, whoa... am I being superficial?

A suggested that maybe I'm stressed and it's coming out all weird, and that's true. I had a rough therapy session yesterday and I have been feeling odd ever since, so maybe it's making me notice things about my boyfriend that I never noticed before? I am 100% certain that I'll get over his eyebrows by tomorrow -- it doesn't bother me THAT much -- but now I'm worried that I'm a superficial person. I've always preached body acceptance and loving people for who they are, not what they look like, and I DO heart my boyfriend for who he is (what he looks like is just a perk) but now I'm worried I'm some kind of hypocrite because his eyebrows are bothering me today.

I know this is probably a stupid question to ask, but: AM I SUPERFICIAL?

Posts: 68 | From: United States | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Haleigh H
Volunteer-in-training
Member # 103145

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Haleigh H     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Prozac,

I don't think it's a stupid question at all. I find myself questioning myself in a similar ways too, no one is perfect. My question for you though is, do you think someone who acts superficial would "heart their boyfriend for who he is" or "preach body acceptance"?

Personally, I tend to think that we all act certain ways sometimes (example; superficial, judgmental, immature, etc.) and part of life's journey is taking a step back and thinking, is that okay? is that how I want to act? am I being true to myself? Then, we go from there. You may ask friend A about this, did she mean to say your are superficial or you are acting superficial? I think there is a difference in being something and acting some way. Does that make sense?

What do you think?

--------------------
Haleigh

Posts: 176 | From: Kansas City, Missouri | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Prozac
Activist
Member # 79657

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Prozac         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I did talk to A about it a little while ago and she said she wasn't saying I WAS superficial, just that the things I was saying made me sound superficial. She says she finds herself doing that sometimes too -- being shallow without realizing it, I mean -- and she clarified that she knows I adore my boyfriend and that his eyebrows don't really matter to me.

So I feel better. :)

Posts: 68 | From: United States | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Haleigh H
Volunteer-in-training
Member # 103145

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Haleigh H     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm so glad to hear that. [Smile]

--------------------
Haleigh

Posts: 176 | From: Kansas City, Missouri | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3