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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Love Triangle Help (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Love Triangle Help
cagedbird123
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I have two beautiful and sweet boys who both love me and care about me, but I'm stuck in the middle.

1. The first boy (boy #1) is my year+ boyfriend who is sweet and sensitive and loves me more than anything.

2. The second boy (boy #2) is my two month long best friend who I spend almost every day with and is super charming, but may or may not care about me romanticly

3. Both boys are trying to help me with my depression and super kind. They are both friends with each other. They are starting to become very uneasy with each other and boy #1 is getting jealous while boy #2 is getting nevous. As of resent I've been physical with both of them, trying to figure out if I was just lusting after one or the other...

4. The problem: I have no idea either way. I love and care about both of them SO much and this is really hard on me, on all of us.
I feel like an amphibian trying to decide whether it's a lizard or a fish.

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Heather
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Are you open with both of them that you are being physical -- I assume this means being sexual -- with both of them? Is this something all of you are talking openly about?

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cagedbird123
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I was open with both of them originally when I was saying I was confused and before I was physical (yes, meaning sexual), but that caused boy #1 to call me every night crying about how awful I was for being confused when he had loved me so much and "what does he have that I don't" and "I'll die without you. I'll kill myself because I'll have no reason to live", so after two projects not turned in and three days of no sleep I told him I wasn't leaving, I was just confused and I'll stay for now and then dropped it. Boy #2 knows that I'm exploring both sides and trying to figure out what is better and will make me happy. Boy #2 knows everything and boy #1 doesn't (because I'm scared he'll hurt himself).
I'm just so lost. They're both so wonderful to me and my emotions are so confused and dull nowadays (because of my depression) that I just feel like I want to keep enjoying the closeness I have with both of them forever, but I know I can't.

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Heather
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So -- sorry, still feeling a little lost here -- you have not told #1, who I assume you're in an agreed-upon exclusive relationship with, that you have been sexual with #2?

And you are saying that you have reason to believe #1 is not at all emotionally stable and will self-harm if you are honest with him about everything you've been choosing to do lately and your feelings?

This relationship with #1, where he has threatened to hurt himself, have you asked for help from other people previous to this per assuring this person is NOT a harm to himself or to you? Or to even make sure this is a healthy relationship you're in and get your own help with that?

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cagedbird123
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(Before this all started we were all great friends and did lots of things together and were thinking about maybe having a threesome -though none of us had done such a thing before and this was before I was physical with boy #2. All we had done was feel up each other-. Boy #1 suddenly backed out and I was very disapointed. Now I had to spend time with each one individually because of the new tention between the two. I suddenly found myself torn between the two people/boys I love most in the world and it's been digging at me ever since.)
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Heather
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Can you answer the questions I asked, please? I ask the things I do so I can get an understanding I need of a situation to know how to help best.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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Yes, I'm in an exclusive and agreed apon relationship with boy #1 and he does not know that boy #2 and I have been physical

Yes, I do belive boy #1 would or might harm himself if I was honest.

He used to slit his wrists, but he stoped after we started dating and I started randomly checking them. He has never threaded hurting himself again until I told him about my confused feelings. After I afrimed that I'd stay for now all self harm threats stoped (I guess he believes I'm no longer confused). I have not requested he get help or told anyone (besides boy #2) about his self harm threats.

I'm currently unsure if this relationship is helthy.
It used to be. We were helping each other grow and work through our problems; now, it seams, I'm causing problems.

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Heather
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Romantic and sexual partners can't be each others therapists: and someone who self-harms, and is suicidal needs qualified, professional help. I'm entirely positive that you can't provide that, not only because I'm sure you don't have that training and education, but also because part of being qualified to provide it to someone is NOT being in a romantic or sexual relationship with them.

Really, if you haven't told someone who CAN get that person that care and help way before this, it sounds like it's long past time to do so. I hear you saying you care about this person a lot, and you're deeply concerned about them. If so, trying to do a therapists job yourself isn't in line with that: getting them to someone who CAN really help them is. That person isn't you. In fact, from the sounds of things, the way things are now, you're only likely to -- even if not intentionally -- make things harder.

Really, my best advice in a situation like this would be to recognize you are way in over your head here right now. That it is certainly not time to be starting any new sexual or romantic relationships with anyone, and that you can't be in a healthy, stable relationship with someone in the kind of crisis #1 is in.

Too, let's be real about this: if you're not able to honor exclusivity agreements you're making with #1, you, yourself, are clearly in no space to be thinking about establishing new relationships with anyone right now. You've got to first figure out what you want in a relationship, and take care of what you have already agreed to and made commitments to.

I'd strongly suggest putting a kibbosh on whatever you have going on with #2 right now besides a platonic friendship. I'd suggest you find some help for #1, and do whatever you can to make sure he gets that help.

Since you've stayed in something with someone you have known from the start self-harms, I think you need to be a big person here and recognize that in doing that, however ill-advised, you need to treat that person as if they were a person in crisis, which means putting some of what you might want on hold right now.

Find him some help so he can be okay, then in time you can get to the place where you two CAN have honest conversations about the relationship, including the agreements you didn't hold up, then you can decide where to go from here per THAT relationship.

And only after you deal with all of that will it even be sound to think about another relationship entirely. You put a big pile on your plate, bigger than you -- or anyone, honestly -- could or should handle. Making it bigger or keeping it this big isn't the way to deal with this. You've got to properly deal with everything you already put on it first, and manage all of that until it's whittled down enough to actually BE manageable.

[ 03-21-2013, 02:47 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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(I'm a little takenaback... I guess I wasn't expecting something so harsh.)

So basicly:
• Stop seeing boy #2
• Get boy #1 help
• Be honest with boy #1
• Just start over with everything?
I'm a little confused after that.

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Heather
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I didn't intend to be harsh, and I'm sorry if it came off that way. It's simply that when someone tells us someone they are close to is and has been in danger and severe crisis, it's our responsibility to be clear that person needs real help, and that it's the responsibility of whoever they have shown they need that help -- whether or not we want that responsibility, it really is on us once someone discloses they need it by showing us they are in severe crisis -- to do what they can to get them to it.

I was also just trying to be real with you in ways that it's sounded like you haven't been able to be with yourself, both in terms of the choices you've been making, but also what you've been choosing to kind of pile up and carry, which truly is more than a human being can at any one time. None of us are superheroes, we're just people, you included. [Smile]

How about we try this version of that list:
1) Get #1 help. Especially if, as it sounds like is the case, you have reasons to believe or know he isn't putting you on about self-harming or being suicidal. Because if that stuff is true, especially the latter, this is literally a life-or-death situation, not something to wait on, put off, or not take very seriously. In the case it ISN'T true, and he's just saying or doing these things to get to you stay with him, then that's serious manipulative behavior, and he needs help with *that,* and you need to just get away from this person.

2) Tell #2 anything going on with you besides plain old platonic friendship needs to stop, ASAP, and be stopped indefinitely. You are in crisis with #1, and you also bit off WAY more than you could chew in a million different ways. Now is not the time for a new sexual or romantic relationship. especially when you're already in one whose agreements you can't keep or even be honest about not honoring.

3) When #1 has help, and has come along with that -- and a big part of any therapy around this will likely involve them making clear he needs to focus on himself right now, not a relationship with you -- and you know that in the case your honesty will cause him to self-harm or want to, he has qualified help to deal with that, you be honest. All the way honest. And then talk about what to do. (But from the sounds of things, seriously, neither of you sound really stable enough to be in anything serious, he certainly isn't, and it also doesn't sound like you want to be in an exclusive relationship with him anymore. And open relationships are very much not for someone unstable. So, I'm thinking you two will probably part ways, as anything besides friends anyway.)

4) Time for many, many big breaths. Because you'll be out of the woods, finally -- phew! -- and then able to take some real time for yourself, by yourself, to kind of shake off all of this stuff, get some clarity to figure out what you actually want and can agree to, and figure out what's best for you moving forward. It's impossible to do that when you're drowning, you know? I think that's part of why you've clearly had a hard time with so much of this, including knowing when it's time to get a friend help instead of trying to do things you can't possibly yourself. Some real time and space outside ALL of this can get you to a place where you're clear enough to be way better able to figure out what's right for you, including what you can actually handle at a given time.

[ 03-21-2013, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cagedbird123
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I told boy #1 that I think he should get help and why, but he shruged me off and said he was fine and didn't need help. I convinced him to at least consider it, but I can tell that he doesn't really care to get help because he thinks that nothing is wrong.
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Robin Lee
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In regards to boy #1: You did what you could but the decision to get help, and utilize that help, has to come from him. If you do think that he's in immediate danger from himself, you certainly can do what you can to get immediate help for him, but long-term help has to be something that he actively engages with. If he's not willing, he's not willing, but it's pretty clear in that case that you need to figure out what is going to work for you. As Heather said, engaging in a relationship with someone who is not terribly stable isn't the most sound thing to do.

So, in relation to the things you *can* do, what do you feel like are good next steps? What do you think of Heather's list above?

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Robin

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cagedbird123
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I'm okay with Heather's list, but it makes me very very very nevous. I think I should keep trying to get boy #1 help and I'll try to keep things as normal and happy for all of us as I can.
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Robin Lee
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So, what do you plan to do with boy #2?

In terms of getting Boy #1 help, what other things do you think you can do other than continuing to try to convince him to get help for himself?
And what about you? You mentioned that you're dealing with depression. Do you have help for yourself around that?

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Robin

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cagedbird123
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I go therapy and I've been on a million anti-depressants. We're still working on finding one that will work. Boy #2 also helps a whole lot with my depression. He wants to be a therapist and is very good at helping me find things that improve my mood and make me feel better for the time being.
I'm still going to hang out with boy #2 and be his friend.

I don't know what else I can do for boy #1...

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Robin Lee
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It's important to make sure you're not relying on Boy #2 for therapeutic support. One thing he'll learn when he goes to school to learn how to be a therapist is that therapists never ever provide therapy to loved ones. It's not at all ethical. So, while it's great that you find him helpful, your professional therapist needs to be the one giving you the support and help, both for your benefit and for Boy #2's benefit.

Have you told Boy #2 that you can only be friends right now?


As to helping Boy #1, are you both in school together (either high school or college)? The first thing to do when trying to get help for someone is to talk to people like that person's family, or teachers, or someone else in their life who is able to get them help.

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Robin

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cagedbird123
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I suggested he get help before, a long time ago, and he and his mother talked to my previous therapist, but nothing ever happened. Also his (boy #1) family is not well of financially, so I doubt they could afford to get him therapy.

I don't "rely" on boy #2 for therapeutic help, he just helps (my therapist can't be with me 24/7).
I'm going to see boy #2 today and inform him that we have to just be friends.

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cagedbird123
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I don't think all this is going to work out...
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Molias
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I do think that, as Heather has said above, any time someone is threatening self-harm it's a good idea to try to get that person help as soon as possible, any way you can. Most schools and universities have counseling services at no or low cost; if boy #1 is reluctant to seek help this way it is probably a good idea to approach a counselor yourself to see if they can intervene with him. Threats of self-harm are serious business. This guy may say he doesn't think there's an issue, but at the same time he's telling you he will kill or hurt himself if you upset him, and that's clearly not ok and is a sign of something being seriously wrong.
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cagedbird123
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Our school don't have that
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Sarah Is A Bear
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If your school doesn't have a counselor, talk to a teacher or member of staff (a coach, a librarian, anyone) who you trust. All of them should be mandatory reporters and thus have training in how to handle situations like this. They will know how to talk to him and can get Boy #1 the help he needs.
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cagedbird123
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I talked to him again. He doesn't think there is anything wrong and refuses to get help. I don't think he realizes how serious that kind of behavior is.
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cagedbird123
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Also, I really don't want him to end up in a mental hospital. I was in one for a week and it didn't help me at all. If he went to one he'd probably refuse all other treatment after he got out. Boy #1 doesn't seem to have the symptoms of depression, but I don't know, it is possible. I'm not sure what exactly his problem is. He seems like a relatively normal person until something bad happens.
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Robin Lee
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So, since he's refusing help, who are you going to talk to to get him more support so that people who know about these things can help him figure out what kind of help he needs?

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Robin

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Sarah Is A Bear
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A psychiatric ward may not have been the right place for you, but it may be the right place for him. The doctors and organized support structure offered there may really help him. He also may not even end up in a psychiatric ward. I can't tell you exactly what help he needs or will receive over the internet. I just know that he does need help, far more help than you can provide for him.

Even if he seems otherwise fine, he needs help and the best thing you can do for him is help him get it. Contemplating, talking about, and/or attempting suicide can be a symptom of mental illnesses other than depression. Plus people with mental illnesses are still normal people. That doesn't keep their illnesses from being something that needs to be addressed.

Even if he isn't mentally ill, he is threatening suicide in order to control you and he still needs help. He can't threaten to hurt himself in order to control other people. That is not okay and is something a therapist and/or counselor can help him deal with.

I know it is hard to go against his wishes. I know you don't want to lose him or have him hate you, but you have to tell someone. Anyone. Whoever you trust. Things can't stay the way they are; they are going to change anyway.

[ 03-23-2013, 11:50 AM: Message edited by: Sarah Is A Bear ]

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cagedbird123
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I don't know who to tell. His parents probably won't really want to hear it and I don't trust any of my school's teachers that much. Should/could I tell my therapist?
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Robin Lee
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You certainly could tell your therapist and perhaps your therapist can help you figure out what to do.

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Robin

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Robin Lee
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In fact, your therapist would be a good person for you to talk about your relationship concerns with.

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Robin

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cagedbird123
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Okay, but I just feel like this makes me look very childish, but, to me, it really isn't a petty matter. I'm just trying to make us all happy.
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Robin Lee
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What about this do you think makes you look childish?

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Robin

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cagedbird123
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I'm torn between two men. Relationship issues like this (especially at my age) are seen as childish by most.
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MusicNerd
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Hey cagedbird!

You know, people of all ages go through relationship issues, and people of all ages ask for help. In fact, as people mature, they realize that there's nothing wrong with asking for help and that especially in serious situations (such as this one) it can be absolutely necessary to do so. It's not childish of you to seek help for relationship issues; and I definitely don't think that it's childish of you to talk to your therapist and seek help for Boy #1 either, especially since he's said that he'd kill or hurt himself.

[ 03-26-2013, 12:45 AM: Message edited by: MusicNerd ]

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

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cagedbird123
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So I talked to him and he saif if he ever felt bad again than he promised he'd get help... but after this discussion we ended up ending our relationship.
I'm still unsure if this is a really bad thing or a good thing.
Thanks for all the help.

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cagedbird123
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The end of our relationship is a very very very very very bad thing.
He won't take me back (ever, according to him).
I just kind of feel like crawling under a rock for a few hundred years and pretending like we're going to get back together one day.

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Karybu
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Hey cagedbird, I'm sorry about the end of your relationship. Even if it turns out that it was the best thing for both of you, the end of a relationship still hurts. Crawling under a rock may not be an option, but are you doing your best to take care of yourself right now? Talking to your therapist is one way to do that, but taking time for yourself to do something you enjoy, or cry if you need to, is important too.

There are some good suggestions for getting through a breakup here: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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