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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Mixed feelings and mixed signals

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Author Topic: Mixed feelings and mixed signals
dearestnoella
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Hi Scarleteen, I hope you can help me!

I've known this guy for about six years but we really only started talking toward the end of last year, and we've been speaking every day since then. We did have a small 'thing' a couple of years back but we were young and naïve. I called it off because one, it wasn't going anywhere and two, I didn't know him that well.

Ever since we started talking again, I noticed that I was starting to become more and more attracted to him. Sometimes I feel that he has those feelings too but I push him away, or he pushes me away and it becomes this never ending tug-of-war. I keep telling myself that there was a time for this and that time had passed already, but now I'm just not so sure anymore.

I always feel this urge to kiss him whenever I see him, or an urge to make some kind of a move, but I always restrain myself in the end. I just don't really know what to do anymore. So, Scarleteen, help a poor sista out?

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Haleigh H
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Member # 103145

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Hi DearestNoella,

Oh, navigating relationship can be so difficult. From your post, it sounds to me like your not really sure how you feel about the guy. Am I getting that right?

If so, I think the first step would be to really give that some thought. Figure out how you are feeling about him and how you are feeling about a relationship with him. That itself can be really difficult. Something that has helped me in the past is to talk about it with someone I trust. That way I'm hearing myself trying to figure out how I feel and I have input from a person with an opinion I value. Another thing that can be helpful is to write about it. Some people find that prefer writing to figure out how they feel about something.

Once you figure out how you're feeling about him and a potential relationship of some kind, the second step is to have a conversation with him about how you're feeling. Not always easy but I'd happy to help you figure out how to have this conversation.

This might be helpful too, Relationships . It's a link to all of Scarleteen's articles about Relationships. You may find some inspiration there too.

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Haleigh

Posts: 176 | From: Kansas City, Missouri | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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