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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Unsure if this is normal..

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Author Topic: Unsure if this is normal..
MaddleyLove
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Member # 102003

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I have abit of an embarrassing problem I hope y'all can shed some light on..

Recently, I've had two dreams about kissing someone I work with- he's about 2 years older than me and we have banter when working at the same time.

is this normal? I feel like its cheating on the bf I've got, and it makes me feel a bit guilty :/

Posts: 199 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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We can't control our thoughts and dreams, so exclusivity or monogamy agreements really should never include those things. Those agreements need to be about behaviors and actions we have control over only.

As well, it is exceptionally rare that any person only EVER has attraction or sexual or romantic thoughts or feelings about one person only. (And usually when they do, when that isn't short-lived, it occurs in people with mental health issues or conditions like erotomania.) So, if you've the idea that having these kinds of dreams or thoughts isn't something that happens to the vast, vast majority of people in couples, I'd suggest you adjust those ideas, because they just don't square with reality.

So, is it normal, as in common, for people to have sexual dreams? Very much so.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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copper86
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Hey, Maddleylove,

I second what Heather wrote above: what you're doing is very, very normal. I have sexual dreams about guy friends too - sometimes I have sexual dreams about strangers I've never met! Having dreams about people you're not in a relationship with may seem a little uncomfortable, but you can't control your dreams: we can't control who or what we dream about. If we could, I'd be having way more fun dreams with my favourite actor from Pretty Little Liars. [Smile] Try not to worry!

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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MaddleyLove
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okay, thanks for clearing that up [Smile]

it's just that... it feels kinda weird having someone else in my dreams, in my subconscious. I just wonder if dreams like that are subconsciously telling me something about my relationship [Razz]

thanks again [Smile]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I suspect this dream tells you no more or no less than dreams about flying toasters, playing with childhood friends, or having tea with the religious icon of your choice.

Seriously.

To boot, you've got a conscious mind to inform you about your relationship, and that's a lot more reliable.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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