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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Lesbian crush help

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Author Topic: Lesbian crush help
Aliiya27
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Member # 103930

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Hello.. im a new user here, forgive me cuz I cant talk english well :/ anyways im 19 years old I study in a uni. My story is that I liked a girl with me in the uni. She was with me in 2 classes last semester. I remember the first day I caught her lookin at me.. well I still dunno if shes straight or what.. ps: she is so feminine and I am too .. so with the days I started talking to her normally nothing special happened actually only she knew that im annoyed from a girl was sitting near me so she offered to sit next to her. . I dunno what it means! We were talking for like almost 2 months.. but we only talked aboutbthe uni and the studies.. after we finished our semester we had winter break I only talked to her once cuz she was on vacation in canada so I couldnt keep on touch with her.. we started the second semester before 1 month everything was okay the second week I was talking to her on whatsapp I said hi and stuff then I invited her to the pool (billiard) with some friends she said no im fine thanks.. I said okay we should hang out someday .. from that moment after 2 hours after the chat I was checking her twitter I REALIZED THAT SHE UNFOLLOWED ME AND ALSO BLOCKED ME ON WHATSAPP AND INSTAGRAM.. I saw her in the uni she was trying to avoid looking at me.. so I went to her the next 3 days I asked why did u do this I didnt mean anything wrong and the pool place is in my friend's house it's not a cheap place with some guys or stuff like that .. she was like "noo my family are close minded .. my mom saw me texting and she asked me who u r talking to so I told her that she is a new friend and she said why did u give her ur number and my mom doesnt want me to know new friends all my friends were with me in high school .. etc " so I didnt wanna nag on her I told her it's okay then it was nice meeting u tho.. next few days I saw her liking my photos on instagram ps: she is blocking me . I dunno how she can see my posts my profile is private.. everytime she sees me in the uni. She only says hi and leave .. now my problem is I cant believe her excuse cuz she is with some friend she knew her from the uni. Too even my friends said that she is lying.. I still dunno why did she do that :( I cant get over her .. I wanna get her back.. please advise me guys I found this site thank god for this .. I think maybe she is with a girl cuz this reaction about the pool thing is not from a guy.. I mean im a lesbian I know how girls think .... btw we live in a country that the lesbians and gays are not allowed :/.. plus she is a classy girl if u know what I mean . Waiting for ur help :) sorry for the bad english
Posts: 2 | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Welcome to the boards, Aliiya.

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking us for here: I don't know how we'd have any more of a sense, with this situation, of what's up with this person than you do.

But I do think she's been pretty clear about trying to set some limits with you, whatever her reasons for that are. I'd advise respecting those limits, since that's what we should do anytime someone puts limits out there with us.

I also don't see how "getting her back," is really a thing here, since it sounds like -- maybe I'm missing something? -- at most, you two only had a fairly not-so-close friendship?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68215 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aliiya27
Neophyte
Member # 103930

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Ummm. Yeah we only had not so close friendship .. I asked what do u think the reason if she wants limits between us im wondering then why it's okay with her to hang out with that new girl im confused.. she doesnt know that I like her and even I didnt flirt with her or something like that :/ she is so weird specially the instagran thing why she is liking my posts after the block .. and can u please tell me what should I do to get over her? Im trying to get over my ex thats why I wanna get her back im not a easy person to like someone or easily fall in love with anybody. But this girl I gotta admit that I liked her so much to the point im falling in love.. this is the first time in my life I feel this way .. my ex's they r the one who came to me .. I mean they liked me first :/ I dont have any skills or experience what should I do if I like a girl .. thanks [Smile]
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Yeah, we just can't possibly know why she wants them: like you, we can't read her mind, we can only trust what she's said to you, and take her at her word,

But the why really doesn't matter here, you know? Just moving on from this and respecting those limits is.

To help yourself move on, the first thing I'd suggest is working to stop focusing on her so much. Hang with your friends. Go out places where you can meet other people.

And moving forward, it's generally a good idea not to get very romantically and emotionally invested in someone who isn't giving you the same back. In other words, if in months of interaction with someone in a class, all they talk about is the class? You can generally assume they aren't feeling a big thing for you, so you want to figure they're just a casual friend or acquaintance, and save your heart for when people are demonstrating they have big feelings.

Too, if you don't yet feel over your ex? Then you can know this isn't a sound time for you to enter new relationships anyway. What do you think you need in order to move on from that relationship?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68215 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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