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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Crush on a Friend

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Author Topic: Crush on a Friend
DelenaForever
Neophyte
Member # 59035

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Hi, So I've been friends with this guy for about 2 months now. He's a lot of fun and we ''get eachother''. But now I thnk I might like him more, which completely caught me off gaurd. How do I deal with it?

P.S. telling him is not an option and I also have no idea if he likes me in ''that way''.

Posts: 12 | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sans
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Member # 91788

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Hey, DelenaForever! Well, let me ask you: how do you want to deal with your feelings? Do you want to act on them? Do you want to avoid acting on them and, perhaps, wait for them to pass? Do you want to remain "just friends" with him? Are you thinking of the possibility of pursuing a romantic relationship? What do you want at this point?

There is really no way for us to know if he has romantic feelings for you, unfortunately. Only he can tell you that himself.

[ 08-05-2012, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Sans ]

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"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

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DelenaForever
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Member # 59035

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I guess I'm hoping these feelings pass because I doubt they could ever become something more because I'm too afraid to let him know. I absolutely still want to be friends with him. I just needed to vent/talk about it.
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Sans
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Sure. You can talk about it with us anytime you like. [Smile]

Would you mind sharing with me why you feel really afraid regarding letting him know about your feelings?

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"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

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DelenaForever
Neophyte
Member # 59035

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It's the old ''afraid of rejection'' thing. Right now I'm trying to figure out if there is a possibility that he might feel the same. I do know that I had mentioned to him a favourite dessert of mine and a week later he brought a piece of it over to my house for me.
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copper86
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Member # 95710

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Hi DelenaForever!

I know from experience that having crushes on friends is a very difficult issue to have. You want to flirt with them and see if they like you, but you don't want to go too far and make them know you like them before you're ready to tell them.

What do you usually do when you like someone? Do you flirt with them, text them, or ask them out? It sounds like you already hang out with this guy, so maybe you can just casually ask him how he'd feel about going to a movie (with other friends, if that would make you more comfortable), and see what he says. How does he act around you? Sans is right that we can't tell you for sure if he likes you romantically or not. However, even if he does like you as a friend, he's a very attentive person, since he brought you a favourite dessert!

I know this sounds like a not-so-proactive response, but you could always give your feelings more time and see what happens with your friend. See how the two of you interact, and that might enable you to better understand your feelings or give you an idea of what to do about them.

I hope you are doing well! I'll be thinking of you!

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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WesLuck
Activist
Member # 56822

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-hugs forever- [Smile]
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DelenaForever
Neophyte
Member # 59035

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Thanks for all the kind words everyone:} So, a few of you have asked about how I interact with him. This might sound weird but I'm actually completely comfortable around him. We have seen a few movies and gone to the zoo. I went over to his house for supper the other night. When we planned it I thought it was going to be the two of us but when he came over to get me I was a bit surprised to learn that his two other {guy} friends would be joining us. I was pretty uncomfortable because I'm always nervous meeting new people. When his friends left I stayed a little longer. He actually encouraged me to stay. So we talked for a bit and I noticed that as soon as his friends were gone, his demeanor changed. He seemed more open. He was sitting a lot more closer to me and a lot more comfortably than when his friends were around. We got on the subject of neddles and he started talking about his tattoos. I had never seen them so he rolled up his sleeves and showed me. He mentioned that because of scar tissue some of his ''tattooed'' skin was now raised. I offered me to take a feel. After I pulled my hand away we kind of looked at eachother and then all of a sudden he said he had to drop some stuff off at a friend's. I thought it was sudden because he had just extended an invitation to my staying longer about 15 before and then to just say that he should head over to his friend's house. As I left we made plans to see a movie this coming weekend. Saying goodbye felt kind of awkward. Like maybe he was catching on to me? Any thoughts?
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Wreckingball
Neophyte
Member # 44981

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It's tricky.

It's only been about two months of you knowing this guy, sometimes it takes longer than that to really get to know sombody. You say he acted differently around his friends?

Have you ever been in a situation like this before? If so how did you deal with it and how did it end?

you said you are afraid of rejection, is there anything that youve experienced before that you think contributed to this fear?

I don't know what you should do but you have a few options. You can tell him how you feel and just get it off your chest, or you can act like nothing happened and hold on to see if your feelings change as you continue to get to know him.

If you do decide to tell him be prepared for whatever his reaction might be, maybe have some other supportive friends around in case it doesn't go how you hope.

Good luck.

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'My love's a beahive, dodecahedron of caring'

Posts: 12 | From: North | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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