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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Too many guy friends?

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Author Topic: Too many guy friends?
jayjay92
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Maybe it was the way I was raised and that my personality seems to mesh well with guys, but I honestly only have one girl friend that I hang out with. I have a few that I talk with on a weekly basis, but that's still few and far between.

I really don't get why I have yet to ever been asked out. Well I have, but by older men. They like me enough to be friends, and hang out and chat, but nothing more. I'm friendlier, and definitely more feminine than I used to be, and frankly just get along better with guys. I've also lost a substantial amount of weight, and while attention has increased I suppose, nothing has yet changed.

I just don't get it. I'd love to be able to have more friends, and to date like everybody else does. I'm so out of touch, it's unbelievable, but I guess that's what happens when you're four years behind.

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Go with the flow!

Posts: 30 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kachina
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Have you tried asking people you are interested in on a date?

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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Sans
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Hey, jayjay! Have you tried meeting new people at social gatherings?

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"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

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jayjay92
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I'm a very secluded person in some sense, and also can be insecure. With either sex, I realized that I just don't click with many people for some reason and I don't know how to fix it. I have severely branched out in the last year and met and talked to people when I never would've before. I'm just more relaxed. The only reason I've never asked anyone out is because I don't know what their types are, I don't want to freak them out and lose even our friendship, and because I really don't know how to. I'm twenty and never had to do it before and so I'm in an unknown world with relationships.

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Go with the flow!

Posts: 30 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
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It sounds good that you're feeling more relaxed and meeting new people. What makes you think that someone you asked out would freak out?

Perhaps a good way to find out what types of people your friends are interested in is to ask them?

PS- what do you mean by being "four years behind"?

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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jayjay92
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Well because it would be coming out of nowhere, and the fact that they haven't asked me out so I wouldn't imagine they'd want to date me. I guess I could ask a few of my friends that without being too upfront.

I mean that I'm twenty and I've never gone on a date or dated. Had sex with people, yes, but never dated. So while most people figure all this out at like 16 or so, I haven't.

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Go with the flow!

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moonlight bouncing off water
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quote:
Originally posted by jayjay92:
Well because it would be coming out of nowhere, and the fact that they haven't asked me out so I wouldn't imagine they'd want to date me.

This may be true in some cases, but if everyone used this logic then no one would ask anyone out! The people you like may be thinking the same thing about you. Everything must start somewhere, and there's no sense waiting for someone else to start it, because they may have the same hesitations you do.

Also, there's no one age that people "figure out" dating. Lot's of people haven't had any kind of sexual or romantic involvement with anyone and lots have had way, way more by then. It's really on an individual basis and there is nothing wrong with you being 20 and begining to figure this out.

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 864 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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