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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Never been kissed...

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lluppa25
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Member # 96375

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I'm sixteen years old and I have never been kissed! Is something wrong with me? There is not much of a selection of guys at my school, so I'm not interested in having a boyfriend or even kissing any of the people I know now, but shouldn't my first kiss have already happened? I'm not a hideous person, and I know that I have crushed on people who have felt the same way about me. Why did no one ever make a move?! I wouldn't even care too much about this except that I will be going to college in two years and I'm embarrassed to show up there a virgin AND a kissing-virgin.

Should I be concerned? If it doesn't happen before college will I be the only one? Will I seem like a loser? Also, nevermind that, but what if I suck at it! How do you even know if you suck at kissing if no one has ever told you? I have sort of big lips, so I'm worried I will like swallow the other person up. And then there's the tongue issue. When and how do I use it?

Help!!

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sans
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Member # 91788

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Hey, lluppa25 and welcome to the boards! [Smile]

To start off, there is no set age for people to have to kiss. Also, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. You stated yourself that you are not interested in kissing any of the people around you presently. Like any activity that is sexual in nature, kissing should happen between people who really really want it and feel ready for it. You don't want to kiss anyone specific right now. And that's okay! You totally have the right to decide when and if you want to kiss someone and not be pressured into doing it when you don't want to. YOU get to decide when you want to kiss someone. Does that make sense?

It has also nothing to do with the way you look or with how attractive you perceive yourself to be. Perhaps your past crushes did not feel ready to initiate a kiss with you, and there can be many different reasons for that.

I'm 18, and I haven't been kissed, so if it doesn't happen before college, you definitely won't be the only one. [Smile] You are not a loser at all. Rather, I would counsel not rushing into it or taking a pace that is uncomfortable for you, because it wouldn't feel good to you at all. And the point of any sexual activity is for us to feel good, feel pleasured, etc.

We here at Scarleteen, as a guideline, cannot discuss specific techniques involved in sexual activities. But I can definitely tell you that what feels good to one person may not to another. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to kiss someone. It's normal to worry about specific physical features that you aren't happy with, but please remember that attractiveness is a matter of opinion and that everyone has a different standard in regards to what they find attractive/not attractive.

What do you think?

--------------------
"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

Posts: 537 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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