Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Meeting someone from online

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Meeting someone from online
Member # 96012

Icon 1 posted      Profile for NoLongerAlone         Edit/Delete Post 
I have been speaking to a girl online for a while, and we've gone from being just normal online friends to wanting to start going out. We share common friends, I've met several people who've met her and that's how we got introduced, but I've never met her. In a few weeks we'll be meeting for the first time.

I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable about the fact we've occasionally been discussing sex. I'm a virgin, and she's not, she's a little older than I am. I feel a bit nervous. She understands and says we don't have to go all the way the first time we meet and she won't force me to do anything I'm not ready to. But if it's a possible, then I'm going to worry.

It's not just anxiety about having to perform, I also grew up in a very conservative household and get shy about the issue of sex. Even if we don't do it, I actually feel a bit weird about her not being a virgin too. How do I get past this weird feeling and accept that she has a history?

Edit: Oh, and she lost her virginity to a friend-of-a-friend, and that makes me feel a little weird knowing the guy's name and face. [Frown]

[ 06-12-2012, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: NoLongerAlone ]

Posts: 1 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
How about slowing all of this down?

In other words, before you even consider being sexual with her and how you'd feel about that, why don't you meet her?

You can even make clear that this first meeting is only that, and that sex isn't something you want on the table, at all, for that meeting.

It sounds to me like you might be trying to figure and sort some things out before it makes sense to do that. heck, you don't even know if you'll feel chemistry together and both be interested in anything sexual, nor how you might feel about her having a sexual history and you not when you two are actually more well-acquainted.

It might also be sound, in the meantime, to chill out with the sex-talk. It's obviously making you feel a little uncomfortable, and again, talking about engaging in any kind of sex with someone we haven't even been in the presence of to know if both of us will truly have those feelings is putting the cart before the horse most of the time.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3