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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » resentment

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Author Topic: resentment
Member # 95099

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and half, and he is the more hesitant/independent one in the relationship. It took him forever to say he loved me, and recently when I asked about moving in with each other he said no. I can understand these things, but I am beginning to resent the fact that I feel like I'm waiting for him. Especially because if he wanted to pack up and move I would go with him, but if I wanted to pack up and move I know he wouldn't come with me. We are good at communicating, but it's not like I can change what he wants. I have depression/anxiety problems and I am wondering if I am dwelling too much or if this is a reason to leave the relationship. Although we do a good mixture of time with just each other, and time partying, I feel that we do not spend enough time alone and I find it immature that he wants to party so often as opposed to spending time with me. I guess it's just a time where I feel his priorities should be different, but I know they are not. It makes me incredibly sad and very anxious. I love him, and other than this we work well together, but I feel like a sucker for waiting for him. I feel like he gets to call the shots too often.
Posts: 3 | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 95099

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I understand independence, but at the same time if he is in a relationship shouldn't he want things to progress? Should I leave, or am I being too needy?
Posts: 3 | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 35643

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Hi joyfro, you mentioned that you're both good at communicating. How would it be for you to discuss these concerns with him? What happens if you mention things like wanting to spend more time together? Is he aware that you are thinking of leaving the relationship?

"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

Posts: 1326 | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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