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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Don't Really Know Where This Should Go...

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Author Topic: Don't Really Know Where This Should Go...
copper86
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I don't really know what I'm asking; but a recent situation has arisen that has to do with my partner and since it has to do with him, I'm assuming it might go under this thread.

My partner had an accident at work today; and needed stitches on his shin. We are seeing each other privately or secretly; so I had no idea this had happened until hours later, since his sister posted it on Facebook. I was stunned when I read it and then started to worry. No one had told me about it (I know his family well); and he had been in the hospital for hours, so I know it wasn't like he could've just pulled out his phone while he was in excruciating pain to text me.

I'm just really scared and worried that he's hurt and in a lot of pain. I don't expect him to text me back or to be in a conversational mood due to what happened (if I had to get stitches, I'd probably be crying in my room or withdrawn); but I'm still scared that he's not okay.

I guess my question is, does anyone here know how long it takes stitches to heal? I've read it takes around 1-2 weeks to get them out; but I know it depends on the severity of the injury, about which I'm not sure. I just feel really badly that I only found out hours later; so it might appear that I wasn't concerned when I actually am.

If this thread is not meant for this forum or is meant for another area, please move it as you see fit. Thank you!

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Heather
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It's really rough when something happens to a partner like this and we aren't notified. I hope you're feeling better, copper.

In terms of stitches and how long they need to be in, it really depends on the kind of injury we're talking about, as you know. But if all he needed was stitches, you can be pretty certain it wasn't that severe an injury, and the level of pain he's in at this point, if any, is probably very moderate.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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copper86
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Thank you for your response, Heather. I'm still worried about him, but I am feeling a bit better. I'm still quite upset that I didn't know about it until much later; and thinking of him getting hurt really frightens me.

According to the Facebook status, he had to wait in emergency for seven hours. That made me upset; but I do know that they see patients in order of the importance of the injury, so I tried to tell myself that since he had to wait like that, though it's horrible that he had to wait that long and be so hurt, maybe the injury isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be. Thank you again - I really hope he's not feeling any discomfort. I've been kind of not focusing on stuff today. I've read in some cases that patients get drugged so the pain subsides; so that made me worry, too.

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Heather
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Do you know hat kind of injury he sustained yet?

And yes: if something really, really awful had happened, there's no way he would have been waiting that long in most circumstances.

I also want to check in to make sure you're good with the fact that life can be uncomfortable sometimes, and that can include illness and injury. Obviously, you really care deeply for this person, but it also needs to be okay if he feels discomfort or pain sometimes. After all, he's human like the rest of us. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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copper86
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I'm honestly not sure. According to his sister's status, a ladder fell on his shin while he was at work. My communication with him is quite varied. Sometimes, we might text for five consecutive days; and others, he might not return my messages for a few days (so I just assume that he is busy, working, sleeping, or just unable to answer). I had sent him a "how are you?" text last night; but again, I didn't expect him to respond (and left the text like that in case he didn't want to discuss what had happened).

I'm hoping that that is the case with his injury - that he was waiting longer because it wasn't as severe. I'm thinking now that it could have been much worse than this; but still.

I do understand that life can be difficult and tricky - especially with things like getting hurt and sick - but I guess I just didn't always think that he'd get hurt like this. I think it just shocked me that it happened. I guess I'm a bit protective of him in that regard.

I also read that stitches getting opened up or tearing is not very likely; but that situation does depend on the area of the stitching and how often that part of the body is flexed. Since it's on his shin, do you think he could tear his stitches or irritate them easily? I know you're not a doctor and you can't actually see his stitches; but since that part of his body would be in motion often, do you think the possibility for ripping or infection is more possible? I'd feel horrible if we hung out outside and they ripped or something...

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Heather
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I grew up basically inside a hospital, and I have also had a LOT of stitches in my life. So, I know from stitches. As much as one needs to for these kinds of questions, anyway. [Smile]

Really, stitches are way less of a big deal than I think you're feeling like they are. Even if they do get ripped, no one is using them to help heal any wound too big to only need stitches. So, if and when that happens, you put a bandage on them and go get them put back in if need be.

And he's likely been given an antibiotic to take already to help prevent infection.

It actually sounds to me like this was a pretty minor injury, so I really do think you can rest easy. (I also think he probably is more than capable of shooting you a text by now, honestly.)

That said, maybe when he's all better, you two could talk about notifying each other if and when things like this happen, so neither of you has to feel quite like you're feeling now again?

[ 06-05-2012, 05:28 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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copper86
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I'm so sorry that you got a lot of stitches! But I do really appreciate your knowledge about the subject!

I think I am overreacting a little bit - it's just that when someone I care for so much gets hurt, I panic (not really a good tactic, so hopefully I can work on that). If it's someone like my brother or my partner, I just get preocccupied and worried. I'm glad that stitches seem to be easily taken care of if they rip or tear - that was one of my worries; especially since he's so active.

We texted tonight and he seems to be in a good mood; so at least that is making me feel better about this. When I see him, I want to bring this up so if it ever happens again, he'd let me know or at least tell me at some point. I thought about a lot of different scenarios and reasons in my head; so perhaps I'm thinking too much about this, but I would like to discuss it with him at some point so I could be more sensitive to his needs or situation if this ever happens again.

Thank you for always being there to discuss things with me, Heather! You are a good listener and a very nice person. [Smile]

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Heather
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Eh, it's what happens, I think -- the many stitches -- when you are very curious, very fearless, but also not particularly graceful. [Razz]

I'm glad the two of you were able to connect, and for sure: something that's sound for long-term partners to talk about are in-case-of-emergency notifications like these. It's easy to get pretty freaked when we're very invested in a relationship and don't have any agreements or plans made for emergencies.

And thanks for saying such lovely things! [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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copper86
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At least you were able to try new things! I only got stitches once in my life; but I was a toddler running around and I definitely was not graceful then, either! [Smile]

I feel better about his injury now - I was just also concerned because he plays an aggressive sport; so I thought that that might be an issue for his shin.

You're welcome! I really appreciate your availability to always help me and others!

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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