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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He's hiding things from me.

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Author Topic: He's hiding things from me.
audio.repeat
Neophyte
Member # 86967

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My boyfriend is hiding things from me. Lately he refuses to let me have his phone or see what he's saying to his friend ryan. One time he said that Ryan was talking about personal thing he and his girlfriend did, and my boyfriends excuse for not letting me see the texts were out of respect for his best friends privacy... I understand this, however it seems kinda fishy. Shouldn't HE trust ME enough to show me the text? I realize It really doesn't matter what ryan said, but the fact that my bf hides anything from me scares me. I want our relationship to be completely 100% open and honest.

What are your opinions on this situation?

Posts: 16 | From: TX | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, in healthy relationships, people not only should get to have some privacy, some limits and boundaries per privacy are good. No boundaries, no privacy, isn't actually healthy or sound.

His relationship with Ryan is his relationship with Ryan. I don't know if you have one with Ryan, but if Ryan asked for his conversation to be kept private, I'd hope you could respect that. I don't know if he did or he didn't, but even if he didn't, or he wants his conversations with Ryan to be something that are his, sharing parts of them with you only when he wants, he should be able to do that, just like I'd hope he'd give you the space and respect to have private conversations with your friends.

Also, I don't know how things have been going, but if you have been pushing boundaries around him having any privacy, or anything that isn't shared with you, he may well be pushing back harder with something like his phone to try and hold some kind of boundary.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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