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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » being with other guys

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Author Topic: being with other guys
Member # 95457

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Does anyone have any experience with this? Im 21, my bf is 26, we have been together for 2 yrs. He started telling me his fantasy recently that he wants me to have sex with other guys, particularly black guys. I have only had sex with him and one boy when I was 16, have done oral with others
though. None have been black. I am concerned that he wants me to do this. He says it is for my pleasure mostly because he doesnt give me orgasms when we have sex. He is kinda small i guess, but he gives me oral all the time and is very very good at it. I totally love it. Does anyone have any thoughts on all this? Makes me nervous for alot of reasons of course.

Posts: 1 | From: GA | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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Member # 49582

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Welcome to Scarleteen, Lisa!

Sex is something we do together. Nobody can 'give' anyone else an orgasm. This is because sex is something that happens in our brains, rather than our bodies.

To help make sex something really exciting and enjoyable for both of you, the key really is communication, rather than adding another partner or partners.

The size of your partner's penis also likely has nothing to do with how enjoyable the sex you have together is. This is because penis-in-vagina intercourse often isn't the most favourite ever thing for people with vulva - especially if that's the only thing you're doing - because the vagina itself doesn't have all that many sensory nerve endings.

It really isn't cool of your boyfriend to reduce people to one aspect of who they are. Engaging in sex with someone of colour is no different from enjoying sex with anyone of a different skin colour. This is because human sexuality is so incredibly diverse - meaning we are all different; no matter our what skin colour is, what our gender is, what our race is, what our class is.

It sounds like your boyfriend has some insecurities about your relationship and thinks that you aren't enjoying the sex you have together. Do I have that right?

Have you had a talk with your boyfriend about what you do like with sex, and how to make it feel better for you? What do you think would make it better? Or, is it going great the way it is? Is not having orgasms an issue for you?

Have you had a talk in depth with him about this fantasy of his; what he finds appealing about it, what he thinks it will bring him and you?

Most importantly; know that nobody ever has to do anything they don't want to do sexually to please a partner. It sounds like you don't want to enage in sex with anyone new at this time, and that's perfectly okay. For this reason alone, I'd advise not to engage in sex with any other guy due to this fantasy of your boyfriend's.

Have you told him how this makes you feel? That you're concerned and nervous?

[ 04-03-2012, 04:28 PM: Message edited by: Saffron Reimi ]

'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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