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me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and have been sexually active but here lately i havent been able to orgasm. i think of sex all the time and i can when i play with myself but when it comes to sex i cant, now we dont do foreplay because "he doesnt like it" i think it would help but i never get it. is there any advice i can get?
Posts: 3 | From: oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2012
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When you say you don't do foreplay, what do you mean by that? A lot of what some people call foreplay is sex for other people, so it can be murky.
Do you mean you do nothing but vaginal intercourse? Without anything before or around it like making out, manual or oral sex, etc? When you say you can't reach orgasm with sex with your partner, do you mean you can't reach orgasm with vaginal intercourse alone?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63424 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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Basically all we do is vaginal intercourse we have to use lubrication because I don't get lubed naturally
Posts: 3 | From: oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2012
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Well, a lot of people use extra lube even when they DO lubricate on their own just because it feels good.
But the majority of women not only are not going to reach orgasm from intercourse alone, many women -- and people, period -- will find doing nothing but that also pretty dull.
Can you fill me in, maybe, on how the two of you developed a relationship that includes intercourse but not other kinds of sexual activities? Knowing how you got here might help me help you figure out how to talk with your partner about how to change that.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63424 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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some friends of ours set us up and e told me from the beginning that he didnt like doing foreplay but he did a bit in the beginning of our relationship but as time went on it was less and less and now its none at all.
Posts: 3 | From: oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2012
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Did you agree that you were okay with a partner who didn't like whatever activities he's calling foreplay?
If so, have you changed your mind about that since, and if you have, have you two had any conversations about that? It doesn't sound like you're happy with the way things have been with intercourse-only sounding like the only thing on the menu.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63424 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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Yes, intercourse-only sounds pretty boring! I know gourmet pizza can be fantastic, but I think you'd get bored if you had it *all* the time. Maybe it would be better received if you phrased it saying, I love being sexual with you (this is of course only if you *do* or *have*) but I would love to be pleasured more before we get to the gourmet pizza. After all, if you are pleasured more, it is likely (though not guaranteed, depending on the individual qualities of this person), that he will get more pleasure too. That's one thing that seems to be common - good lovers tend to value their partners having lots of fun too. They also generally have great communication and always respect limits set by *everyone* in the relationship, not just them.
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Maybe it would be better received if you phrased it saying, I love being sexual with you (this is of course only if you *do* or *have*) but I would love to be pleasured more before we get to the gourmet pizza. 
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