Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » hes thinking im bored but im bummed

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: hes thinking im bored but im bummed
cheez
Neophyte
Member # 95229

Icon 11 posted      Profile for cheez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and have been sexually active but here lately i havent been able to orgasm. i think of sex all the time and i can when i play with myself but when it comes to sex i cant, now we dont do foreplay because "he doesnt like it" i think it would help but i never get it. is there any advice i can get?
Posts: 3 | From: oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When you say you don't do foreplay, what do you mean by that? A lot of what some people call foreplay is sex for other people, so it can be murky.

Do you mean you do nothing but vaginal intercourse? Without anything before or around it like making out, manual or oral sex, etc? When you say you can't reach orgasm with sex with your partner, do you mean you can't reach orgasm with vaginal intercourse alone?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cheez
Neophyte
Member # 95229

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cheez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Basically all we do is vaginal intercourse we have to use lubrication because I don't get lubed naturally
Posts: 3 | From: oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, a lot of people use extra lube even when they DO lubricate on their own just because it feels good.

But the majority of women not only are not going to reach orgasm from intercourse alone, many women -- and people, period -- will find doing nothing but that also pretty dull.

Can you fill me in, maybe, on how the two of you developed a relationship that includes intercourse but not other kinds of sexual activities? Knowing how you got here might help me help you figure out how to talk with your partner about how to change that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cheez
Neophyte
Member # 95229

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cheez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
some friends of ours set us up and e told me from the beginning that he didnt like doing foreplay but he did a bit in the beginning of our relationship but as time went on it was less and less and now its none at all.
Posts: 3 | From: oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Did you agree that you were okay with a partner who didn't like whatever activities he's calling foreplay?

If so, have you changed your mind about that since, and if you have, have you two had any conversations about that? It doesn't sound like you're happy with the way things have been with intercourse-only sounding like the only thing on the menu.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
WesLuck
Activist
Member # 56822

Icon 1 posted      Profile for WesLuck     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, intercourse-only sounds pretty boring! I know gourmet pizza can be fantastic, but I think you'd get bored if you had it *all* the time. [Smile] Maybe it would be better received if you phrased it saying, I love being sexual with you (this is of course only if you *do* or *have*) but I would love to be pleasured more before we get to the gourmet pizza. [Smile] After all, if you are pleasured more, it is likely (though not guaranteed, depending on the individual qualities of this person), that he will get more pleasure too. [Smile] That's one thing that seems to be common - good lovers tend to value their partners having lots of fun too. They also generally have great communication and always respect limits set by *everyone* in the relationship, not just them. [Smile]

[ 03-15-2012, 08:29 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

Posts: 540 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3