Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » HandJob Help!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: HandJob Help!
Member # 95146

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Justin27     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey so I am in my first serious relationship, and my bf has started fingering me and i want to returne the favor but dont know what to do!! I know not everyone is not the same and all that i just want a few tips to try out and see what he likes...because i have no idea what to do! also should his pants come off or can they stay on? and what do you do when he ejaculates? and should we make out if not do i look at him or away? please help!!
Posts: 1 | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When we use the term manual sex and we're talking about someone with a penis, so, handjob, whatever, what we're generally talking about is someone stimulating that person's penis with their hand and fingers.

Whether someone wants to do that with their pants off or not -- or their partner does -- is going to be up to those people, based on their moods and preferences. What that person wants to do when and if they ejaculate, is really up to them. same goes with if you enjoy eye contact or not: these are about what feels right to you. Sex with a partner is supposed to be about people expressing themselves, not putting on a staged performance, know what I mean?

Really, aside of knowing hand-on-penis-do-what-feels-good-to-my-hand-that-the-other-person-says-is-okay-and-feels-good, we really CAN'T know what else to do with a new partner even when we have done this with others before.

Any kind of sex with a partner involves a process of experimenting and discovery: that's actually supposed to be the fun part. But if that doesn't seem like fun but instead feels terrifying, that's often a cue something isn't right, like things are moving too fast, or you don't feel right doing that with that person, etc.

So, beyond the fact that older adults telling young people how to get someone else off is not only, IMO, a little creepy, it's also questionable legal. But even if those things weren't true, you'd still have to go through this process of learning this with your partner, together, on your own. Catch my drift?

Do you not feel comfortable with that, including asking him before or during what he likes, what feels good and doesn't, what he wants, etc?

[ 03-01-2012, 06:09 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3