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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Do I ask him how he feels?

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Author Topic: Do I ask him how he feels?
jasmine_101
Neophyte
Member # 109285

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I started at University in September and met a guy around the middle of November. He asked for my number on a night out, and after a week of texting he asked me out on a date. Initially, it was love at first sight … I was so attracted to him, we got on amazingly well and talked for hours! The next few dates were a little more awkward but I still had good feelings about it.

After around the 4th time we went out for drinks, I stayed over at his, although we only kissed and nothing else.

Since then though, we stopped going on dates per say and just started staying round each others, watching films and such, but it would always lead to something physical. He's never been pushy, if anything I was the one that initiated the physical side of things.

After around 4 weeks of 'seeing each other' we started having sex. The thing is, we've never really defined what we are. I have no idea how he feels, whether he's seeing other girls, whether he thinks we have a future, whether he wants anything serious with me. I didn't see him over Christmas because he had a holiday job and I was busy with revision … now we're back, I feel like somethings changed. We don't text as much and it honestly feels like he just wants a 'friends with benefits' type thing.

Have I missed my chance at a relationship? Is it too late to ask him how he feels?

How do I ask him these things without sound clingy and scaring him away?

Thanks!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It is never too late to communicate with someone unless they have cut off communication.

Clearly, you want to know how he feels and what he wants, and to find that out, you have to ask him.

If he finds you asking about that scary, and does not want what you want, or even to have that conversation, so be it. But that also gives you the answer, and not talking about this will not make it any more likely he will or will not want whatever it is you do. [Smile]

Also? There is nothing "clingy" about asking the status of a relationship, how someone views it, what they want, nor stating what you do. That is all simply what we do in pretty much any ongoing relationship we are an active part of.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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