Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My Boyfriend's Friend

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: My Boyfriend's Friend
Roses are Free
Neophyte
Member # 72225

Icon 5 posted      Profile for Roses are Free     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months and love him dearly. Just recently, I've been introduced to his friends. I am happy about this because I want to be close to his family and friends and to respect them; however, I've seem to run into a problem. One of his best friends became quite close to me lately. Might I also mention that this friend is married. He started talking to me online, innocently, and mostly discussing my boyfriend. I had no problem with this.

Eventually, we became greater friends and started sharing our likes/dislikes with one another. Again, I was fine with this, as was my boyfriend. As time progressed (and I don't even mean a long period of time, just a week or so), he started complimenting me. He eventually started calling me hot and sexy, and complimenting my personality. He also calls me cute little names.

I was a bit startled at first. Despite my worries of ruining their friendship, I told my boyfriend. I didn't feel right NOT telling him. My boyfriend basically told me he can be flirty. He didn't seem too upset. He did tell me to watch in case it got worse, though. So, I brushed his comments off as compliments. The more I think about this, though, the more I find it very wrong. He has a wife. I have a boyfriend. I am not interested in this man at all beyond friendship. This doesn't seem like normal behavior from a married man to me.

I just need advice. I don't know how to handle this. What am I supposed to say to his friend and to my boyfriend? I don't mind being this guy's friend, but I think he needs to realize there are boundaries. I know I am going to talk to him less often now, but how do I handle the fact I will be seeing him a lot simply because he's one of my boyfriend's best friends?

Posts: 3 | From: USA. | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Have you confronted the friend about this directly?

It might simply be, as your boyfriend seemed to suggest, that this is how your friend relates to people and that he doesn't mean anything by it.

So, I'd start by simply letting him know, calmly, that you feel uncomfortable with the way he addressed you and that you'd like to establish some firm boundaries.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Roses are Free
Neophyte
Member # 72225

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Roses are Free     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you for the advice, September. I was going to do as you said, but my boyfriend ended up telling him, nicely, to please cut out those comments (at least he said he was going to tell him that). His friend hasn't talked to me since. I think he may be upset with me, which I am unhappy about because I did want to be his friend and get along with him, especially for my boyfriend's sake. I guess there is not much I can do about that though [Frown] . Thanks again.
Posts: 3 | From: USA. | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3