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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I feel lost without him...

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Author Topic: I feel lost without him...
Member # 62749

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On wednesday, me and my boyfriend of 11 months broke up.
We'd been arguing for a while, mainly about how he was always out with his friends and I felt sometimes like I was just there to fill up his spare time.
We didn't do much, in our 11 months, we went to the cinema twice. No meals, no picnics, no games, just my house, his house, or a tiny walk around the village where we live.
I always got the excuse 'no money', yet he always went out for meals with his friends, or spend money on alcohol for parties with his friends and it felt unfair.
I think some of this was due to his ex girlfriend, Lucy - I think he spent more time with her, but she hurt him badly and then I think he thought I'd do the same, so his friends were a safe bet.

I didn't want our relationship to get too deep and complicated, just wanted to keep it simple and fun, but that was hard when I didn't do many fun things with him.
I know I should have been a bit more easy going about the situation, but I had other things on my mind for the past two or so months.
We love each other dearly, but he's sticking to his guns about us being over because we argue too much.
He doesn't listen to the reasons why we argue, just says that it'll always be like, that we're too complicated to start from the beginning again, how the hell do I deal with this.
I want him back so so bad :'(

Posts: 84 | From: Manchester UK | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Breakups can be so very painful and hard: I'm sorry that you're going through one, lollylou.

The thing is, I think your boyfriend has made it very clear that your boyfriend feels done with this relationship and wants to be done. And even if he felt willing to give it another go, if he's had a pattern of not wanting to work through why you argue and to try and repair that, then that alone is a good sign this relationship was not likely to be a good one that ensured.

Instead of looking at whose fault what was, how about for now you just try and accept that this relationship is over, and do what you need to do to grieve and take care of yourself while you're going through these feelings?

What have you been doing over the last few days to take care of yourself? Have you been able to call on friends or family members for emotional support while you deal with this loss?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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