Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Help :(?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Help :(?
TheCitizenErased
Activist
Member # 31269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TheCitizenErased     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey guys!

This might be a bit of a long post, but I have to get this off my chest and get an outside opinion.

Around a month ago, a girl who I know through a friend started talking to me on Facebook quite frequently. She would "like" and comment on all my statuses and we spoke alot through chat. I never really thought much of it to be honest, but my best friend kept saying she probably liked me.

A little while later it was one of my friends birthday nights out! There was a good few of us and we all went to a club for a few drinks. I knew this girl was going to be there, so I thought maybe something would happen between us. I was right! We were with each other the whole night kissing, talking and even holding hands.

Im gonna point out we were both really really drunk!

I woke up the next morning with a text from her friend, giving me her number. I eventually texted her (after about a whole day of working up courage) and I asked her out on a date [Smile]
The date went really well in my eyes. We walked around town for a while, just talking and stuff. I made her laugh quite a lot and she kept playfully pushing me and stuff. We went to the cinema later on and we kissed a few times and again were holding hands! After that we continued to walk around town talking for a few good hours. So all in all I think it went pretty well!

Only thing is, this date happened about 2 weeks ago - maybe even longer.

We still text a lot and we did agree to go out again. She said yes, she never gave me a "no."
She said though she is struggling with money as she doesnt have a job and has to travel to college. I honestly dont mind waiting, but it seems to have gone on a long time. I have been told off her friends that she wouldnt muck me around (its happened to both us before). I have brought the whole another date thing up a few times since but I dont wanna keep going on about it incase she gets creeped out or whatever.

One thing that worries me though, is that a few weeks back after our date my friend drunkenly messaged her telling her I liked her bla bla bla! It was my fault, I was drunk and kinda encouraged him.

Im worried maybe I have scared her off :\

--------------------
Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't see any reason not to take her at her word with this. It's actually pretty sound when you're in the kind of space she's saying she's in not to start new relationships and to really focus on just taking care of yourself.

So, mostly this is sounding to me like a case of plain old bad timing. It seems like you've got every reason to believe what she's said to you, and should just go on with your own life -- whatever that entails -- and figure that if and when she gets through all of this and her circumstances change, if she's still interested in dating, she'll let you know. In the meantime, I'd let go on asking: it sounds like she knows you're interested by now.

If you wanted to, you could kind of put a bookmark in this by letting her know, though, that you are still interested, but do hear her on where she's at, and just ask her to let you know if and when things change for her if she'd like to go out again.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheCitizenErased
Activist
Member # 31269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TheCitizenErased     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Of course, I have no reason to doubt her. Infact I forgot to mention I went to a gig last week which she went to. Things were cool, still kinda acting playful and laughing. We all went out afterwards, but nothing happened between us. I was kinda bummed out by that, but it doesnt mean anything had changed I guess.

Yeah I totally agree about the asking, I told myself the other day that she already knows im interested in her. I have said to her that if she still wants to go out soon then she can let me know, to which she said she will.

I guess I got kinda overwhelmed and over excited that things went well.

So I do remain hopeful about it all. I just dont wanna screw up haha!

So I should just get on with my life just now, see what happens?

--------------------
Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, bad timing with something that clearly could be a good thing really is always a huge bummer. So, it's totally understandable that you feel both bummed and anxious about this. My condolences, because I know how much it can suck.

But yep: she's made clear she's pretty overwhelmed with her own stuff right now. So, if you're down with running into each other now and then and hanging like you just did, and texting as works for her, then you stick with that for a while, but also remember that just like her, you get to do your own thing, too. If the timing gets better at some point, that's cool, but it's usually sound to live your life knowing it might not, too. It happens.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheCitizenErased
Activist
Member # 31269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TheCitizenErased     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah it does suck! I just know Ill be kicking myself a few months down the line if I do something idiotic, like pester her! I guess I felt I didnt know where I stood with everything. So like you said its probably best if I just continue with what Im doing and with what shes doing.

Its quite likely we will be going out again soon, so fingers crossed. Plus Summer is right around the corner which means more free time.

Thanks for the reply Heather, its been really annoying me lately, just not knowing what Im gonna do next. Now Ive got a idea of what to do, so thanks [Smile]

--------------------
Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3