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Author Topic: The guy whose husband material and the flings?
Birdieandbees
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Member # 58039

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Okay I am sixteen years old and I have a dilemma. There are three guys I'm interested in. In the past I've always gone for the "bad boys" but now I've been looking for mature guys. The first guy is wonderful! He graduated from my school a year before I got there. He is very ambitious and at the Naval Academy (Annapolis). Religion is important to both of us and I could see myself with him. The thing is we're far away from eachother as I'm in California and he is in Maryland. I talk to him every single day and he calls a couple times a week. Like I said, "husband material". Not that I'm going to marry him but he gives me a goal of who I'd like to be with in the future. I WILL wait for him to come back home this summer and see where it takes us.

Guy number two: I've known him since I was a freshman in high school and we used to be really close. I'm taking night classes and it turns out he's in my class too! We reconnected but he is leaving in May for the Army. He's enlisted for eight years -.- . So idk what to do, because he's been flirting with me alot.

Guy number three: Graduated from my school last year and last night I went to the Sadies dance with him. I had soo much fun and after we were going to go eat but I fell asleep haha. So were supposed to hang out today.

Ahh this is really confusing!
I want to have fun but I feel guilty because the first guy is far away and I really do like him.
Advice?
Comments?
Anything?

Posts: 5 | From: Camarillo, CA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Member # 20094

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(I've deleted the post identical to this one in Ask Scarleteen. Please don't double-post, it's against the guidelines you agreed to when you registered, and won't help get your question answered any faster. Thanks.)

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5667 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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Sorry it took awhile for me to get back to you Birdieandbees.

You know, your last paragraph really says it all to me: you want to have fun, and aren't necessarily looking for a long-term relationship at the moment. So, I think you may be overthinking this a little bit. It sounds like you don't know any of these three guys really well, so how about taking some time to date all of them and see what happens? That's what dating is for, after all, and there's no rule that says you can't date multiple people at once until you figure out which, if any of them, is the right fit for you.

I'd really not worry about what might happen waaaaay in the future, either - you're 16, and while I know it's cliche to say this, what you're looking for in a partner and what your life is like is going to change a lot in the next few years, often very rapidly. That's not a bad thing, at all, but you probably want to keep in mind that the relationships you have now are not going to be the same ones you have five or ten years from now, so worrying about what might happen in the future isn't really helpful - the best thing you can do right now is enjoy what's happening now, rather than what might happen a ways down the road.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5667 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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