In a similar vein to this post, I thought it would be great for y'all to talk a bit about what, so far, has resulted in a really wonderful relationship for you (or relationships).
It doesn't have to be about a romantic or sexual relationship, but any kind of close, interpersonal relationship. It also doesn't have to be about a relationship that lasted a certain amount of time: just an ongoing interpersonal connection that was super-great for you.
When you remember (or experience right now!) really, truly healthy, fantastic and beneficial relationships, what do you think has made them so great?
For example, was it about really feeling able to be who you are and be appreciated for that? About being able to deeply trust and/or be honest or vulnerable? About having a lot in common... or very little? Something about the pacing or timing in your life? About the role you or others had in it not mattering or being able to shift? About it resembling everything you thought a great relationship would be like... or surprising you by being totally different than your ideals? About how it fit with the whole of your life? About how it helped you through something?
Whatever (or whatevers) it was, I think sharing that can be a great exercise for you but also for others to read, especially when it's so easy for any of us to get hung up on ideals or limited views of what make relationships great.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 65673 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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My best relationship so far is actually with a friend I met travelling outside of the country 4 years ago. I don't have many friends, and most of them are male, so it really took me by surprise when we became sister-close. Especially since I didn't like her at first (I had totally written her off as the typical party girl, but to be fair, she was doing a pretty good impersonation of one at the time). We have almost nothing in common (she's studying medicine while I'm studying business, she's Muslim and I'm 'other', she's upper class I'm from one of the poorest areas in America) and yet we get along really, really well. Maybe it's because we met so far away from everyone we know and we were able to be our geniune selves, but we have an easy understanding between us and total acceptance. (Like for example, she's the only one of my friends who's ever seen me naked, and I'm VERY self-conscious. The conditions we met under though, there wasn't much privacy, so eventually it didn't bother me that someone saw me naked) Though we mostly talk about guys and what little other common ground we have, when we get together it's always an adventure. And though I have friendships older than this one, she's the person I trust the most in times of crisis: we've already experienced some dangerous ordeals together and it's only proven that we can count on each other and not be judged.
What she has taught me is that it's okay to give people chances to know the real you -- even if they *can't* figure you out/think you're strange, that doesn't necessarily mean that they won't accept you with all your 'oddness' lol. And though first impressions endure, how much do you know about a person when you first meet them, really? Because of her I know that even if two people are drastically different, peace and even strong friendship are possible. She's a REAL friend and I wouldn't trade her for anything
Posts: 16 | From: USA | Registered: Dec 2010
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I have a hard time choosing just one relationship to classify as the best relationship I have had (and I'm thankful that I can say that). Truth is I have, and have had, several relationships that stand out as being exceptional in their own right.
One that's definitely near the top however is with my older sister. It's not a relationship without flaws, there are certainly topics we've never been able to fully breach, but it's also a relationship that's incredibly comfortable and caring. One where we can crawl into the other's bed after a breakup and not have to explain anything. One where we leave each other letters in each other's carry-ons whenever the other leaves for a trip. One where we can spend an entire day yelling at each other on the water and still get burgers together afterwards.
I think what makes this particular relationship so great is the level of comfort and sharing so much in common. It's the fact we both love watching horrible chick-flicks to make fun of them, can bake up a storm together and both understand the importance of outrageous postcards and dressing up for the symphony. Her boyfriend recently described us as the Gilmore Girls and I think in many ways he's not so far off.
When I first read this thread, I thought of my current boyfriend. He's the best guy I've been with. Been together for 2.5 years! I have a lot of insecurities and issues, but he doesn't judge me for them. He accepts me the way I am. He always makes sure I'm comfortable with everything and we talk out problems.
But the BEST relationship I've EVER had is with my grandmother. The older I get the closer we get. She's my everything. I can talk to her about anything and she completely understands. Like she says, I'm the black sheep of my family. She was the same way. Growing up she dealt with a lot of the same things I'm dealing with, just not as bad. It's nice to have someone to talk to and to comfort me. She always knows how to cheer me up. I'd be completely lost without her. I'd rather do things with her than anybody else! We've just formed this very, very close bond over the last few years. I wouldn't change it for anything.
No matter who I meet in my life, I will NEVER have another relationship like this. This will forever be the best one to me!
The best relationship would be my current one. We've been together for almost 3 years and we went through a lot during that and our friendship. We've both helped each other grow, even when it was painful, and we are able to talk honestly about everything, something which I'm really happy about.
I guess that is what makes it so great. We don't judge each other, and if we disagree, it's only in opinion and we respect each other enough to not let that matter. We are just too compatible, if that's even possible.
Posts: 10 | From: Netherlands | Registered: Feb 2011
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I think I'd like to list my top 3 because they're pretty close, and I feel like I might wish I had mentioned the second or third later. They're also all very different types of relationships.
1. My current boyfriend. We've been together more than 3 years, since late 2007, and we were pretty good friends for a year and a half before that. He knows everything about me, and we can read each other's minds, complete each other's sentences. We've been through so much BS and so many obstacles that it feels like we've been together. I call him my husband, we tease each other... And we still have a healthy sex life, after more than 2 and a half years. We were each other's first and only sex partners. Our relationship has just gotten better anytime we overcame an obstacle. It's the most I've ever opened up to someone and I'm actually comfortable letting him know everything.
2. My current best friend. My current best friend is THE best friend I've ever had. I have trust issues thanks to some past friends who weren't really good friends. I have other good friends, but with my bestie, I can tell him anything and I know he won't judge me or feel any differently. We also have a lot in common, we both love acting and we're going to the same college together. I really trust him and he means a lot to me.
3. My "little sister". I have a friend who is a year younger than me. We aren't sisters in a biological sense, but we are in every other way. She and I love each other and can make up way too many inside jokes in 5 minutes, but we can also just hate each other. We snuggle, and we're there for each other no matter what. When I first met her, I thought she was the most annoying person I'd ever met because she was so perky and happy all the time and as my grumpy, sarcastic self, I wanted to slap the happy out of her. I don't know how it happened, but next thing I know, we're good friends, and eventually "sisters." I love her so much.
Those 3 relationships are my best, and they're all such different kinds of relationships that I can't compare them. So I included all 3 and there they are. ^^
-------------------- I'm not a professional, just a peer. But I will provide the best, most honest advice I can. Posts: 13 | From: Oregon | Registered: Feb 2011
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I have a wonderful relationship with my close friend and college suitemate. We haven't known each other long enough that I can really call her my best friend, but if we stay close I'm sure she'll earn that title soon enough.
Part of what's wonderful about most of the friends I've made upon coming to college is that they're queer, and I've never had close queer friends before. I feel like it makes it easier to talk about my crushes and relationship problems. This friend in particular, though, I feel that I can talk to about anything in the world. I've never really had that with a friend before. I have other lovely friends that I can have a great time with, but I have a hard time asking for support from them or talking to them when things are not going well for me. I've shared some of my most difficult moments with my suitemate, though, and she's offered great support. She's also come to me with her problems on numerous occasions, and it's made me feel really great to be able to offer her support in return.
I'm also more touchy-feely with her than I've been with other friends, and this is kind of a big deal for me. I'm rarely comfortable with a lot of physical contact, but I've found that I feel safe enough with her to allow myself to be relaxed and comforted by hugs and cuddling. It's nice to have a source of comforting non-sexual physical contact, now that I'm away from home.
Plus we're the same level of ridiculousness. The first day we met, I asked her what she would do if she came back to the dorms and I was wearing stick-on facial hair, and offered her some. She said she would put it on, and then go to the dining hall with me wearing it. Obviously, we were meant to be friends.
Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005
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My best relationship is with my current boyfriend of 8 months. I can be myself completely without any judgement. I was comfortable enough to tell him a secret that I have never told anyone about. Even though I hate certain things about my body which makes me self concious about what I wear. Mostly how uneven my chest is. But he always tells me that to him my body is perfect and he wouldnt want it to be changed.
We do have our fights here and there, but we always talk out everything. So communications is well established. What ever is on our minds we can talk about it. Whether it is personal or not, we can talk about it.
I love how our common interests are better. we both love manga and anime. And we even went to a convection about this stuff. Which was a blast. We are both dirty minded and funny, so we can joke all night and just laugh away. I also never really had guys that were cuddlers but my bf is a cuddle monster. So I feel a deep connection with him. And he is the only one that I actually allowed into my heart. I had been hurt so much as a little kid that i decided to make my heart cold. But he has brighten it up.
We may have not been together long, but I feel like we are a good match. How we have common interests but still butt heads from time to time.
Posts: 20 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2011
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