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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Not feeling a perfect guy

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Author Topic: Not feeling a perfect guy
Member # 46456

Icon 1 posted      Profile for CuriousxMe     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So here's some background info: (these are maybe why I feel the way I feel)
1) Got out of a very rocky 13 months relationship on November.
2) ^ Was very devastated, but is now completely over it. (Yeah!!)
3) ^ It was so horrid, full of DRAMA and my ex verbally abused me.

So during month of December, I met this guy who is everything like me. It's odd how much we have in common and what life changing experiences we've gone through. Odd, but so awesome. Pretty much we are very chatty, passionate, driven, and most of all humorous people. From the first time we talked, we both really liked each other. But of course we tried to play it off lol. It took a week for us to actually be like "Let's date." During the times we talked I was so giddy, like a school girl.

But after just 2 weeks of dating I feel out of place for him now. He's everything I wanted - looks wise and definitely personality wise. It was probably a few days when we got together that he told me he loved me. I shurged it off. He's already told his dad about me, which now his whole family knows about me. I don't mind that his family knows about me at all, but he has this habit of calling me "dudette." Lol. I can understand him, because I have a habit of saying dude, but not to my boyfriends! You see my point here? Dudette? Can't it be something like sweet heart? Just saying lol. Of course I talked to him about it, but he still calls me it, so I'm just going to let it go.

And now to the question, I am really stressing out about what's wrong with me. Like I have this perfect guy that really likes me a lot (okay, you can say loves me), but I feel out of it. Like he's so different from the guys I've dated (usually troubled ones, jealous ones, etc) that I'm starting to question myself. Like what the heck is wrong with? And him moving in a fast pace isn't scaring me off, by the way. He even knows he's moving fast, he's even told me he will go at my pace. BUT, what??? It was like one minute I was so into this guy and the next I am not.

I usually have to do all the work in the relationship, but wow this is so different. He is really doing everything in the relationship, which kinda makes me feel ehh, inadequate. And I think one of the reason why he's really um moving in such a fast pace, is because his girlfriends all consisted of drama. And he had a reputation of well ... a manwhore. Despite of his past he's a great guy. But what is wrong with me lol [Frown]

[ 01-09-2011, 09:05 AM: Message edited by: CuriousxMe ]

Posts: 37 | From: Usa | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sorry for the late response. I, myself, was hoping someone who has been through something similar what have replied before now.
My thoughts are that you have just recently gotten out of a bad long term relationship and that you may simply not be ready to start any relationships yet. Sometimes people just need some ‘single’ time to be themselves again for a while, possibly to regroup or ‘reset’ themselves, before they are ready to start a new relationship. I also believe that some people have this ‘little voice inside’, call it your conscience, which lets you know when something isn’t right. Maybe yours is trying to let you know that something isn’t right for you like: you’re not ready for this yet, it is moving faster than you’re ready for, and/or he isn’t a good match for you because there may be something about him that bothers you despite all of the other things (ie: his past). I have had problems when I didn't 'listen' to mine and move head anyways without at least looking into why it was warning me. You’ve said that have had other problem relationships in the past, have you ever thought about talking with someone about this and seeing if they may be able to help you with changing this pattern? Just to clarify, I am not saying that there is something wrong with you at all! Many people need assistance at sometime and maybe this might be your time. Relationships can be a major part of our lives and, as you’ve experienced, they are not always easy. Counseling is just a suggestion to consider; maybe it would help you. I can say that it helped me a lot in the past. Let us know if we can be of further help.


Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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