Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do I find out if he still loves me?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: How do I find out if he still loves me?
Ariskola
Neophyte
Member # 46669

Icon 9 posted      Profile for Ariskola     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My best friend in the world admitted to me about six months ago that he loved me as more then a friend (in person). We've known one another for years, but as a result of our families, we live very far apart and only visit in person once or twice a year. Anyway, since that time we've had some talks about it by instant message. At first, I wasn't interested as more then friend. But I have grown to be. When I visited him this Christmas, he was very flirtatious. I want to admit to him that I feel the same way, but I'm not sure if he remains attracted to me as he was in the previous months, if he still wants to be with me. Also, I am not sure it would be wise, because a long-distance relationship is out of the question, and it will be years before we live closer together. I worry that either he's already moved on, or that I will prevent him from doing so. But I want to get this off my chest. Help?
Posts: 24 | From: Richmond | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm afraid the only way to find out how he feels about you is to ask him yourself. And even then, you're just going to have to take his word for it, whatever he says [Smile]

Do you think there would be any harm in telling him about your feelings, even if he no longer feels the same way as you? Seeing as he did just that six months ago and your friendship was not ruined, I highly doubt that you doing so now would ruin it, too.

Also don't feel that you may stop him from being able to move on; you don't have control over his emotions, so don't put the responsibility on yourself, okay? However he ends up feeling about this is not your responsibility [Smile]

So my advice is to talk to him about it, because I really don't think any harm could come of it. And honest communication is a big part of any relationship, including a friendship. And I don't know why a long-distance relationship is out of the question for you, but I do know that plenty of people have successfully been a part of one, so if you think it wouldn't possibly work out, well, that's not necessarily true [Smile] But absolutely, if you feel that an LDR would not work for you for whatever reason, you can explain that to him if you discuss your feelings.

I hope all goes well for you!

[ 01-05-2011, 10:23 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

Posts: 1309 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ariskola
Neophyte
Member # 46669

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ariskola     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks. The issue with distance is that I have been an introvert and recluse since middle school. I've never had a relationship, and at the moment he is my only close friend. For my own mental health, I know I need to get out there and practice my rather lacking social skills. I'm in a very insecure and needy life position, I worry that my romantic feelings could in part be a manefestation of need/depression. In the end, I think allowing myself to obsess more over this long distance gu y would hurt my frail connection to the immidiate outside world.
Posts: 24 | From: Richmond | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That sounds like a really self-aware analysis, and a great idea to try and get out of your comfort zone and start working on making more friends. Good for you for being so honest with yourself and for being brave enough to work on getting out there [Smile] And certainly, when we have some big insecurities and other issues we need to work on with ourselves, that usually works best when we don't also have a relationship to focus on. Good luck! I'm sure you'll end up making some great friends [Big Grin]
Posts: 1309 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3