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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do/should I tell him I'm a fake? Help!

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Author Topic: How do/should I tell him I'm a fake? Help!
littlemissheart
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Member # 48260

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So I'm in a predicament and would greatly appreciate some advice.
I met this guy Jared through my friend's fake myspace account about 2 years ago. I continued talking to him over IM and never actually confessed to him that the person in the myspace wasn't actually ME. I mostly told him the truth about everything, and over the past 2 years we've grown fairly close. We text once in awhile (but not everyday), and have talked a couple times on the phone. We use to have a BIG crush on eachother, but now we're just friends, but always have still had the potential of liking each other more if we lived closer (and if he knew i was real). I've really been wanting to tell him for awhile that i'm not the person in the pictures that he thinks I am; but I'm scared that it will crush him since he's a very sensitive guy. He also just went through a bad break up a couple days ago and is very hurt by it. So I've been trying helping him through it by giving him pep talks, and dealing with it in a healthier ways (The first day he got very drunk and did cocaine.)

So the question is...Should I tell him that I'm fake, and not the person he thinks I am? Or should I just let it be? Also, if I do tell him, long should I wait? (Maybe til he's healed about the break up? He's very depressed at the moment). And how should I word it when I talk to him?
Thank you so much!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Am I understanding right that this is mostly or only an issue of you not resembling the person in the photos on that account? Or are there other things, too, like an age or gender being very different from your own?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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littlemissheart
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Sorry to make it so confusing, I should have clarified. I lied about not being the person in the pictures, and age. But not by much. He thinks I'm 21, but I'm actually only 19. Didn't lie about gender, or anything else.
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littlemissheart
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Hi, I totally understand that everyone is busy, and staffing is probably low. So sorry if this seems pushy. But should I tell him now, or when he's less depressed?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Sorry we missed your reply!

By all means, this was a very long time to not be truthful with someone when you were developing a relationship where you got this close.

I don't think there's really going to be a good time to do this: no matter when you do it, this person is probably going to be upset. But I would say the longer you keep any fictions going, the more upset they are going to be, so sooner will probably be better than later.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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littlemissheart
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Yeah that's true. You're definitely right. Should I put a link to my facebook in the message so he can contact me through there and see who I really am? Or would that be too risky in case he did something drastic from being upset? So maybe just a picture and my real email address? Sorry for so many questions!
Thank you for the reply, I appreciate it. [Smile]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Why don't you just start by explaining the situation here the way you did in your initial post up top?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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