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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Why are my friends so dumb?

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Author Topic: Why are my friends so dumb?
Member # 47037

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So last week me and one of my oldest friends, whom i haven't seen in AGES, decided to get together at a hookah bar. It was going great and getting late when we decided to leave and walk around town for a few minutes after we ate our pizza. My friends just broke up with her boyfriend of almost a year and kept telling "All I want to do is have sex with the next guy I find!" She's way into, well, video game dorks. Her obsession with virtual entertainment shocks me. Anyway, as we're walking around and im getting ready to call it a night these two older men (both wearing matching Hawaiin shirts??) start chatting my friends up about video games (we were standing outside some sort of video-game store) They were both around 300-450lbs each i'd reckon, anyway, they invite my friend and I to join them at yet another Hookah bar! I didn't want to go and pulled my friend aside and told her this but noooooooo since "They're paying it's no big deal!" We had to go to another hookah bar. I sat and brooded and didn't eat, drink, or smoke anything as they all chatted up. The one guys friend wouldn't leave me alone all night! He kept snapping at me if he thought I wasn't paying attention! After numerous subtle hints and "Annie wont you walk me to the bathroom to powder my nose?" I straight up told my friend I was not comfortable and wanted to go. The coversation had turned from video games (I couldn't care less) to how many guns each of the guys had. She kept putting up a fight that they were going to drive us home, and thats when I put my foot down. But she wouldn't listen and kept making it out to be no big deal. I didn't want to leave her alone with these guys so I got in the car and gave them a fake adress.

I was so scared I was going to get killed the dudes kept talking about guns and stuff! Now the one guy keeps calling me from different numbers and I can't get him to stop. What should I do? Should I threaten legal action? THE WORST PART is my friend keeps saying how none of this is her fault!!!! I'm so mad...should I never talk to her again? I just can't believe any woman could be so stupid!!!

Posts: 23 | From: West Chester, Pa. | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I think we can probably talk about this without calling your friends stupid or calling guys who like video games dorks, okay?

What I'm hearing in this is that it sounds like your friend was very purposefully seeking out risk. In other words, you sensed danger -- validly, from what I can tell -- and she very well may have too, but she wanted that and you didn't (also understandable).

It also sounds to me like you stepped outside your own limits because you were worried about your friend. That's great you wanted to do what you could to help her stay safe, but it sounds like should something go down like this in the future, you're probably best advocating for yourself and just leaving when you know you want to go and don't feel safe and it's clear whoever you're with isn't going to put any stock in your feelings of safety or theirs.

How did this guy get your phone number?

Per your friend, I don't know about the history of your friendship, but if she won't take any responsibility at all for this, that just isn't cool. Given, you made a choice to stay hanging out with her, so there's that, but at the same time, I don't think it's invalid on your part to want her to take some responsibility of her own, or recognize that you only stayed because you were worried about her.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 47037

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sorry about the dumb/dork thing. Alot of my friends play games and thats fine with me, I guess I was just really mad at her. She really scared me! She GAVE him my number!! Didn't even ask! I'm still so mad at her but I can't bear to bring it up! This guy is still calling me , and although I didn't answer, it's starting to frighten me. He leaves me voicemails that are very strange and calls me from a new number everytime. I'm not sure what to do because it makes me angry that would put us through that kind of situation.

I gave them a fake adress so they dropped me off infront of my boyfriends house, and i don't want them knocking for me and getting his mother or something!

Im really sorry about the dumb/dork thing. It wasn't right.

Posts: 23 | From: West Chester, Pa. | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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