Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » help. .boyfriend is moving

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: help. .boyfriend is moving
justinedoe
Neophyte
Member # 45235

Icon 1 posted      Profile for justinedoe         Edit/Delete Post 
me and him were in a relationship for NEARLY an entire year when he broke up with me. yes, we had fights, but we always got over them. one day we got into this fight over texting and he texted me "we're over." i did get hurt, but i didnt think it was a real breakup. until he completely stopped talking to me. so the next time i saw him i talked to him in person, he told me hes moving over the summer when school ends. he said we need to get over eachother. and that he knows it wont work. but it really hurts me, because we were eachother's first everything and best friends. now, we barely talk. i know he loves me, he told me he still loves me but is trying to get over me. but a week after that he told me he doesnt love me anymore. im so confused. we've know eachother for 4 years. we were best friends the whole time. he means everything to me.

he said he hasnt been happy with our relationship for a few months. but the thing is, i can stop being a bitch to him and having fights. i gave him so many chances to stop doing it to me, because i believed in our relationship. and he actually did stop! and now that he stopped, i cant have him? and now he wont do the same for me? thats what gets me really upset.

im willing to do whatever it takes to make our relationship work. he will be moving to SF. so by plane its like an hour or so away. im willing to get a job to help pay for plane tickets and everything. we are 15. i know thats young, but i really do know that he's the one. i just want to get him back. ive been really needy with him though, and i know thats bad. but i just dont know how to approach the situation. i dont want to not talk tohim because then he will just think im getting over him. but i dont want to keep doing what im doing, because hes getting annoyed with me.

ugh, im really depressed. i cant go from talking to him everyday and being with him all the time to this. .
its so hard. he told me that hes being like this to get over me, but now he says he doesnt love me anymore?
gah. i need help. i just want my bestfriend back.

[ 05-28-2010, 04:10 PM: Message edited by: justinedoe ]

Posts: 7 | From: CA | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
From what I can understand, he's not said he WANTS to get back together, right? In other words, I hear you saying he has been very clear he does not want a relationship anymore. Am I missing anywhere where he said he has changed his mind on that?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
justinedoe
Neophyte
Member # 45235

Icon 1 posted      Profile for justinedoe         Edit/Delete Post 
yeah, he told me he doesnt want to be in a long distance relationship. but he gives me mixed signals. i just dont want to lose him. hes so important to me and i know im important to him. im so depressed, and he doesnt understand how i feel.
Posts: 7 | From: CA | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm sorry that you're hurting so much.

The thing is, though, when someone tells us they don't want to be in a relationship with us anymore, we need to accept that and not try and push them into a different choice than they want to make. I don't know what signals he is giving, but his words here sound very clear to me: like he has told you clearly what he wants, needs and feels is best, and that that's to move on.

He may or may not understand how you feel, but he probably understands how he feels, and he has to make his choices about what's best for him based on those feelings. It may also be (if that's the case: it sounds like you two were having some probs) that this is something you want, but that it's not what he does. As much as it can hurt to be in that spot, we can't make someone want something different than they do, or make them be in the same place we are with the same feelings.

I want to also make sure you know that sometimes we can love people but know they or the relationship we're in with them isn't making us happy and doesn't seem good for us. So, he may well have had love for you, and might even still, but that all by itself doesn't mean this relationship is a good thing, for him or you, or that it's what he wants.

Do you have other friends you can talk to in this for support?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3