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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Huge teacher crush?

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Author Topic: Huge teacher crush?
Stephanie101
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I have a huge/gigantic crush on my english/media teacher. I know I can never persue it, and never would, but I need help getting over it asap.

She is new this year, relatively young (30) and really beautiful. She always dresses really nicely and wears this amazing high heels and she is super nice. Frankly I just can't help but like her.

I am a girl but I thought it was kind of irrelavant about the genders because I would never date my teacher anyways (clearly lol)

Do you think I should just live with the crush and try to suck it up? I just want to spend as much time around her as possible..is this weird? I mean I loved the time I spent with her when she helped with the school play and I just..ugh help me get over this!?

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stephh!

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Heather
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Do you feel like this crush is about sexual/romantic feelings for her, or do you think it's more about admiring her, wanting to be like her?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Stephanie101
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Now that I think about it..it's probably more about admiring her and wanting to be like her. I want to be a teacher when I'm older too...but when I am around her I get this feeling in my gut that seems like a crush to me. I can immagine myself kissing her and stuff but I know that will never happen so I don't know. Do you think it's just normal and I should ignore it or...what?

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stephh!

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Heather
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What I think is that sometimes we can confuse feelings of admiration or inspiration for sexual feelings.

Mind, if you have never had any kind of sexual or romantic feelings for women before, this could be the first set you have and may later have more. But if this seems like a really big anomaly, then it may just be that this really isn't about a crush so much as it is about meeting someone you really look up to, like and want to be like.

Regardless, since this is your teacher I'd simply let her be your teacher, and you continue to be her student. If you want to be involved as a student with more things she does as a teacher, I don't see anything wrong with doing that, no matter what these feelings are, you just need to make sure you really want to do whatever that stuff is rather than just wanting to be around her for other reasons. You also want to make sure whatever you choose to do as a student isn't making you feel bad due to these feelings.

Make sense?

[ 05-17-2010, 07:11 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Stephanie101
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I've had sexual feelings towards women once before, and it definitely wasn't as severe as what I am feeling now. Maybe that is why I am acting so irrationally over this lol.

I don't think I would actually want to be around her for "other reasons" because I know she is like 15 years older then me..married..and a teacher. But I do really look up to her. I guess that's what my problem is. I don't want to seem too clingy and if I don't talk to her enough I feel kind of bad..like today in the library I didn't say hi because I didn't want to seem clingy but after not saying it I felt bad.

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stephh!

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Heather
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It's a teachers responsibility to maintain their own boundaries, so if she felt you were hanging around too much, you can leave the ball in her court to make that clear to you.

Again, this is teacher and student: teachers don't usually mind students who like them and look up to them, it's one of the perks of the job, because it makes you feel like you're doing a good job. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Stephanie101
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I don't understand the ball in the court referance but I get the gist of what you are saying. I guess you're right [Smile] I teach figure skating and love the feeling of when the kids look up to me. I guess it would be the same feeling for her. Thanks =)

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stephh!

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Heather
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I can clarify: as the person who is in the position of being the teacher, it's her responsibility to set and make clear her own boundaries with students, something that is usually part of teacher training.

You don't have to try and figure out what they are: it's on her to make them clear to you.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Stephanie101
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Yes she's done that. Eg. she said she wouldn't send personal emails unless she sends them to the entire class and she won't add students on facebook until after they are graduated stuff like that [Smile]

Thanks again, you made this less confusing to me. I will keep my distance though and avoid a possibly embarassing talk with her..I mean I'm not THAT bad but yea. Thanks!

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stephh!

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