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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » different values.. but I like him!

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Author Topic: different values.. but I like him!
antsy
Neophyte
Member # 45527

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So I'm 19, and I've never been on a date ever and other than drunk guys I've never really been hit on. So today when I was at a pharmacy buying gummy bears the (really hot) cashier really started flirting and I ended up giving him my #. So we ended up having coffee later that night and it was awesome we talked forever and then left and drove around and talked some more, really great. He didn't do all those nice old fashioned things like come to the door, or open the car door for me, but w/e I can live without those things. The things that really bothered me are that he smokes (cigs and pot) and drinks. a lot. I'm completely straightedge. I have no problem with other people doing these things, but I don't do them. but now it's kind of like, well, do I want to be with someone who does? But I REALLY REALLY like him. he's really hot (not exactly sure what he sees in me), he's funny, smart (in college), artistic, supernice, earnest, analytical (like me), and did I mention I really really really like him? and he likes me?
Posts: 6 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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This is always a tough call, and there's never going to be any one right answer.

For instance, I'm vegan. And while in one way, it can be really ideal if I can date other vegans or vegetarians, I've also done just fine dating plenty of omnivores. I don't get on well, or find it a good fit, with those who don't get where I'm at with it, or who don't respect my position and try to be sure they're not stepping on my toes, though. For instance, someone who can't stop calling animals delicious, or who refuses to even try and understand why i make MY choices, not good. On the other hand, someone who gets it, who tries to be respectful (like not eating a lot of meat right around me, or taking me to the butcher shop with them), then okay.

So, you have to figure out, or see, maybe after a couple more dates, if this does or doesn't feel like a good fit for you.

However, you say he drinks " a lot." So, by all means, if this person is actually alcoholic, that's an entirely different issue than if you don't drink and he does. Know what I mean?

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
antsy
Neophyte
Member # 45527

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I don't think he's an alcoholic. He just talked about it a bit. I'm gonna go over and hang out with him for a bit today, so we'll just see what happens.
Posts: 6 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
antsy
Neophyte
Member # 45527

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so I really really like this guy, but because I work with children and so am not allowed to ever smell like smoke, not to mention what happens if he gets caught while I'm with him, it's best if I just don't see him anymore. This is really hard for me though, because I really like him. We have plans for tomorrow and when he drops me off I'm just gonna have to let him know. or maybe over dinner? I don't know and I'm so worried cause I don't want to hurt him.
Posts: 6 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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