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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Pregnancy Risk..

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Author Topic: Pregnancy Risk..
LAB
Neophyte
Member # 36124

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Ok, long story short.. I just started having sex... My boyfriend and I have done it 3 times.. The problem is..like when we start out..both the first and second times he didn't wear a condom just in the beginning...then he stopped and said he needed to put one on...which i was very much in agreement with. The first time was like on the very last day of my period and i'm not worried about that. He did eventually put a condom on..and he didn't cum that time either, because he said he didn't trust the condom. So the second time..again we started out without a condom for the first bit..it couldn't have been more than 5 minutes..at all..then he put the condom on..and this time he actually did cum, but he pulled out with the condom on. And the third time..we ended up just doing the first part..like in all the other situations. No condom just for a few minutes..but that was it..we stopped at that. Alright so there's that, but what i'm concerned about is my risk of pregnancy...from this unprotected sex... The thing is...my boyfriend has been around the block..i'll say, he knows what he's doing and I trust him.. I've had another boyfriend before that was a virgin..as was I at the time..we used to do stuff....but no sex..but he used to leak, if you will... Little drops of fluid would come out...when I was like..giving him handjobs..so ok..I figure this must be the precum that everyone talks about. My boyfriend doesn't have that...and my conclusion is that he's had a lot of sex before so he's not as sensative..if you will...to sexual stimulation... We waited 3 months before we had sex..and in all that time..I never saw him produce any drops of anything from his penis.. So I guess, I'm trying to figure out what my risks are. I'm really worried. It's 2:40 AM..and i'm just really freaked. I trust him though, and he says that there is no reason for me to worry that i'm fine. He says that he knows his penis, lol, and we stopped today because the condom was in the living room..and anyways I just didn't want to go any farther...and he said that he didn't want to take the chance because he might not be able to control it if we kept going.. Sigh, I feel so bad..I'm a smart girl, but I'm making stupid decisions because I'm so in love with him. I'm being so stupid...I can't believe it.. I'm not on the pill, because I don't want my parents to know, and I also am afraid that I will not stay consistent in taking the pills...and someone told me if you miss one day that it doesn't work... I can't believe how stupid I'm being.. I appreciate any help..
Posts: 6 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Releasing pre-cum is part of the process of arousal for a male. It has nothing to do with how 'sensitized' you are to sex. What we cannot know for sure is whether pre-cum contains sperm at any given time. But you can be sure that there is pre-cum, and that it poses a potential risk.

So you've had three instances of unprotected sex without ejaculation, which puts you at a low to moderate risk for pregnancy, and a high risk for STIs.

It also doesn't really matter when in your menstrual cycle you had sex: unless you are charting your basal temperatures and cervical mucus daily, there is not really a way for you to accurately predict your ovulation date. Which means that it's smartest to assume that you'd always have a potential risk.

When was the most recent time since you had sex with your partner? If it was less than 120 hours ago, you can still think about getting EC. If it has been longer than that, you'll have to wait until you can take a pregnancy test. You can do that at 10-14 days after a risk.

You and your partner will also want to schedule STI tests, if you aren't up to date with those.

And while you're there, you can bring up the topic of contraception with your doctor. The pill isn't your only option out there. If you want to take a hormonal method but not have to remember every single day, you could look into the patch or the ring, for example. We have an article that could help you with that:
Birth Control Bingo!

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LAB
Neophyte
Member # 36124

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Yes the last time we had unprotected sex was within the past 120 hours... You think I should get the plan b pill?
Posts: 6 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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That's ultimately your call, and depends on how comfortable you are with the fact that you did have a low to moderate pregnancy risk. If you absolutely do not wish to become pregnant, then EC would be a good call.

Can we help you figure out how to protect yourself better? Have you looked at that link regarding protection?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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