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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » confused by two seemingly straight guys

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Author Topic: confused by two seemingly straight guys
Member # 43972

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I know this really cool biker dude. I told him recently I'm gay, and he's totally fine with it. He has a girlfriend and I completely respect that, so I never hit on him. I have had this really huge crush on him for the longest time, and have told others about my crush on him. I think it got back to him, but he seems really okay with it. Lately I have been getting attention from a young hottie, I told this young guy that I'm gay and he's fine with it as well. I have great respect for these two. Recently I had an interesting occurance. The young hottie called me to him to chat, and the hot biker guy immediately whipped around to watch us. He usually plays it cool when he's around me but this time it seemed like he was jealous this hot young guy was talking to me. How can I tell if this guy is jealous?

Paul Smith

Posts: 1 | From: AZ | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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Hi Paul, welcome to Scarleteen! [Smile]

It sounds like he may or may not be jealous but my question for you is: Why do you want to know if he is or isn't?

A person can be jealous for many reasons: it can be because someone has a romantic/sexual attraction and feels that way or because someone likes the platonic attention or company or someone. Likewise, you can have the reverse where people have those feelings or attractions and aren't jealous at all. And humans tend to be pretty curious creatures by nature; we often are interested in our friends' dating lives even if we're not interested in our friends sexually or romantically but because we're friends.

If you're using this as a way to figure out if you do have a chance with the biker guy or not because you want to date him, I'd recommend you look for more direct ways rather than "signs." I believe that sexual orientation is quite fluid with most people being somewhere on the spectrum between being "entirely" heterosexual or homosexual. However, the bottom line is that some people are available and interested in dating and others aren't. If he's in a monogamous relationship with his girlfriend and wants to keep it that way, then regardless of his sexual orientation he's going to want that relationship. There could be potential he is interested in you but there are so many other factors at play.

However, for all the possible "signs" we could interpret and what have you, I think the best way to figure this out is to be direct. *If* you're really that interested in dating him, you could always just tell him. Something like, "I have assumed that you were straight and I know you're in a committed relationship and I respect that; however, I just wanted to say that I do like you to get it out there. Again, I respect your situation but I did want to finally just tell you." And then you leave it up to him. Doing so can have pros and cons but I believe it's really the best way to go if that's what you're interested in. Not to assume but I do get the impression that's what you're looking for there. [Smile]

[ 09-04-2009, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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