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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » BREAKING UP

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Author Topic: BREAKING UP
breeze
Neophyte
Member # 1602

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Hi, Anyone has any rememdies on to how to get over a big break up? Thanx!
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Johnny
unregistered


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Hi Breeze

When my girlfriend broke up with me it was really hard to handle eventhough we both thought it was for the best. Lot's of things reminded me of her {songs, foods, places} I kinda just moped around for weeks.

It's sort of like someone dying it just takes time to get over. I have a great friend named Nina, we are tight buds. She helped me get though it. A good guy freind you can talk to NOT about breakups and misery like that but just normal stuff to get your life back to a point where you ready to look towards a new relationship with someone.

It's been 4 months since we broke up. And now things are pretty cool. I hate the fact she has a new boyfriend, but I'm cool with being single. Except for not getting any you-know-what!!

Anyway if you need to talk about it. You can E-mail me at JohnnyRock25@hotmail.com

Hang in there it will be cool soon enough!

Jrock


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glitter695
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A BIG PINT OF ICE CREAM..Break ups are soooo hard to get over..try doing something with your friends or doing anything to keep your mind off your ex.

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*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*


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U2girl
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U know what totally got me over my ex?? it was the hardest thing in the world to do. i was in love and my heart was broken until i bought the new Sinead O'Connor CD called Strength and Courage.. it made me totally get over the guy and i felt like i didnt even want a boyfriend anyways!

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PEACE


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DarkChild717
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Member # 139

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That's a good question. I am dealing with that too. Writing helps me. Poetry. Try writing a last letter to him, saying EXACTLY how you feel. You don't have to give it to him...try buring it or shredding it. Who knows. It may help. And have your friends there for you. And some good music. Good luck!

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After seven months without snow, desperation overrides common sense.

Snow is the worlds security blanket. It makes it serene, quiet and beautiful.

"Close your eyes for they see only the truth and the truth is not what you want to see."


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breeze
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Thank you guys for the advice. I appreciate it a lot.
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TheneB
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Writting to the person helps a LOT. *shudders at all the trees he killed*. I wrote my GF SO many letters/emails when a lot of bad stuff happened. But if they just plain say " leave me alone" or other A#( stuff like that, i find reading books helps a lot. I think because reading is one of those things that can really take 100% of your concentration ( not like TV or something) and the last thing that always did it for me. *drumrole* videa games Kind of goes along the same line of thinking as books. My personal fav are MMORPGS ( RPG games online that are ALWAYS there and never get boring ). But neither of these are for everybody of course. But if you like either, then its a great way to get your mind of stuff.
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skatergirl
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I don't know what kind of person you are, but I am a social person, and it always helps me to go hang out with my friends whenever I have a break up. It just makes me feels so much better, to know that other people still care about me....maybe you should try that. Hope you are feeling better.


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TheneB
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The only problem that can come from that tho sk8ergirl, is if you hung out with your b/gf a lot with your friends. Or even met the other person through your friends. Then your either reminded constantly of them, or possible worse ( or better, depends on person ) they hang out at the same places.
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skatergirl
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Actually, that would be better if they were friends with all the same people. It is good to be friends after you break up. By them being around each other WITH their friends, it would help their friendship. I hate it when people think they can't be friends after they break up. That would be the best thing for them to do!

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TheneB
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again. I think it kind of depends. First depends on the Break up. I for one, know that if my GF left me for someone else i would NOT want to go hang out at a party with everybody including them two. I agree staying friends is good. Youd figure that if you put X amount of time into someone, you had stuff in common and staying friends never hurts. I guess it wholy depends on a lot of situations.
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Gumdrop Girl
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remember what you used to do before the guy. then go do it.

or drown your sorrows during a trip to ben and jerry's. not really, though. that's bad.

go see violent movies.

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if you get the molasses, i'll set up the trampoline.


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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That's a fine perspective, Thene.

Everyone usually needs some time to grieve, and are rarely often to jump right into a platonic relationship when they're still getting over the romantic one.


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skatergirl
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TRUE, but what I was saying is that they should go out. Its not good to stay in and think about what could have been. If things are over they weren't meant to be. I agree it wouldn't be a comfortable thing to hang out with your ex like within the same month as the break-up (if like you say you are friends with the same friends). BUT I think your friends would be there for you and wouldn't expect you to hang out with everyone. I am sure you would have some friends that would spend some quality time with you to help you get over your recent break-up. SMILE
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Ella
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I think that everyone grieves in a different way. I think that it's important to know that it is grief and that you are mourning something. Even if the relationship hasn't been good, it once was and you mourn what you've lost. I know that after my nonconclusive breakup (I moved away for school) I didn't feel like it was over. It didn't hit me till he told me he was seeing someone else which was intellectually fine, but made me realise that I'd hoped he wouldn't. I was in a state of suspended reality cause I thought (subconsciously) that everything would stay the same at home.

What helped me after that was taking a couple of days to just mourn. I realised what I was missing, wrote angry poetry and letters, cried and felt bad. Then I got busy. I'd have to say that finding a new activity to take up your spare time REALLY helps. It means you don't have time to think about them, but it's also important to allow yourself some time to grieve. Also talk to your friends, I'm sure they'll be supportive and just hug you while you cry or be there while you "explain" your feelings.


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Gumdrop Girl
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bump ka-bump!

well, i'm joining the club. and funny what i said a more than a year ago -- i was just shy of twenty, now i'm twenty-one. i was in a thrilling relationship then. now i'm not. and i've been following that advice -- without even remembering i said it.

what'd i do before he came along? studied. went to rock shows. hung out with gal-pals. didn't have the ben and jerry's. did have a pint of Dreyer's strawberry cheesecake, though. and knocked back a few drinks with friends. never do that when underage or unsupervised. and oddly enough, i'm chatting a lot with ex's from years past. they know what it's like to break up with me. one is coming to visit me next month. that'll be cool 'cause i haven't seen him in more than two years.

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I bust my arse so that I can get somewhere in life, so why am I not there yet?


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Wreckingball
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I find that giving myself some serious space from the person is a good way to help myself get over them. It lets me find myself again. Once I start doing all the things I really love without feeling obligated to anybody else, I find I can actually feel pretty exellent.

Having good friends to talk to, listening to music, letting myself cry it out, writing letters (but not sending them), and deleting them off of facebook also really help me feel better.

Maybe some of these things could help for you too?
Hope you start feeling better.

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'My love's a beahive, dodecahedron of caring'

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