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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Girlfriend is on vacation

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Author Topic: Girlfriend is on vacation
edg357
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Member # 42996

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My girlfriend went on to jamaica for a week(as of friday) she's coming back this friday. I talk to her twice a day for only about two minutes each time(1.99 per minute roaming charges). I can send her texts but she can't respond to them. I miss her and i don't know how to handle this week. We've been going out for 7 months so far. Her parents won't let her use the computer because its their "family time". I don't know how to distract myself from this. I'm terrified of her plane ride home. How do i handle these last five days? Any help is appreciated. Thanks.
Posts: 21 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Ultimately, we should be able to have time away from partners like this without losing our marbles. So, sounds to me like this is a good opportunity for you to have some practice with that: being unable to be without constant contact from a partner can tend to foster unhealthy relationships.

So, what are YOU doing this week? Seeing any friends? Working on any personal projects?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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edg357
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I'm not doing much. Most friends are on vacation also(New Jersey and what not). She bought me three books before she left and i bought her a set of books also. Currently im just reading what she got me trying to occupy the time without her. It's only five more days. I'm trying to make the best of it
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Heather
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That's a cool thing, you two getting each other books.

So, by all means, that's a fine plan. Too, since you're thinking about her so much, you can also spend some time doing something creative for her: maybe making her something?

Do you have any family you have been meaning to visit or catch up with? Any projects of your own you have some extra time for now that you two have a week apart? Now would be a good time to work on something you haven't had as much time for as you'd have liked.

When I have a partner away for a while or who is going out of town, I usually make a list for myself of all the things I can now catch up with and do, which tends to turn what might have been a bummer into a bunch of great opportunities I usually feel very excited about. For instance, the person I live with is going out of town for a week Tuesday and I already have an art project lined up, a plan to catch up on cataloging some of my art, some cleaning I keep meaning to do, and some visits with friends.

[ 06-21-2009, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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edg357
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I've been studying for school.I go to the gym three times a week. I've been planing on making her something. She told me she left a note on her bed in case i went to her house(i have a key). I want to go, but i think that it would make this all harder. I don't know what exactly to make her. I've been leaving her messages on myspace every day. She can't check them but it'll make her happy when she comes home.
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edg357
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Sorry for the double post. I left out the family part. I've been planning on spending more time with my immediate family during this week also.
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Heather
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Really, I would try and think of this as being about personal and relationship growth: for healthy relationships, we really do need to be able to have space apart like this sometimes. And ideally, to have it not be a week of moping or feeling unable to live our lives.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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edg357
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True, it's just hard to think of it like that, because whenever i hear from her shes upset because she misses me. In order for me to be happier i need her to be enjoying herself.
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Heather
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Well, you can suggest that she tries to make an adjustment to how she is thinking about it, too?

I mean, a week in Jamaica? That's freaking awesome: I'd give a limb for a vacation like that, and it'd be such a pity to waste that kind of opportunity.

And again, you two being able to do things like this will strengthen your relationship, for real. if you can't you risk being codependent, which isn't a recipe for the good stuff.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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edg357
Neophyte
Member # 42996

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true, She said she'd try to get a hold of me today, if not she told me to call at 12. I'll try to tell her how i feel. Hopefully it helps her
Posts: 21 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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