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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » ???

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Author Topic: ???
Member # 36400

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So it's been about a month or so since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend... and I have been feeling a bit better about it. At first I felt like I couldn't deal with it but I gradually found out that I have been missing out on a lot of things and have been neglecting my other friends, so I'm trying to be outgoing even though I'm a natural introvert.

This has led me to contacting my ex-boyfriend from about 3 years ago, J. I'm 18 now so when we were going out we were pretty young and had a lot to learn about being in a relationship; we broke up after about 6 months because I couldn't committ. I don't really know if this is because I'm at the "rebound stage" after a breakup but I feel drawn to J, and I am almost getting heartsick over it when I am barely getting over the breakup. I feel like it's too much to handle but at the same time I feel almost a desperate kind of attraction to J and I have been a lot more flirty/outgoing with him then I normally would've been.

When I contacted him online, the conversation went better than I had hoped and it ended with him asking me to the movies a week from now or so. I have no idea what to expect from him or what he feels but he has been flirty during our convo and reminiscing about when we were going out (even though that was years ago).

I just want some opinions on this; should I give a relationship another chance or is it too soon? Am I just attracted to J because I just went through a breakup and I'm feeling vulnerable? And if I do decide to take things further with him, how do I stop myself from getting ahead of myself and ending up disappointed again? Thanks a lot, Scarleteen.


Posts: 93 | From: So Cal | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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It's natural to feel that draw to something familiar after any type of break-up.

My two cents: if you're at all questioning whether you're ready for this, wait. Until you can 100% (or at least pretty confidently) say that you've healed emotionally and are ready to move forward with anyone, former partner or no, I would give yourself time to reconnect with friends, sort your life out, and figure out what you need right now.

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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