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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » how to not be boring in a relationship

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Author Topic: how to not be boring in a relationship
wifey_type_2
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Me & my boyfriend being going together 4 about a year now & he told me that sometimes he be bored with me & it really hurt my feelings. Is there anything i can do to change it? [Confused]
Posts: 84 | From: Montgomery | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Of course it hurt your feelings. That's a hurtful thing to say.

I'm not sure, though, why you're going to seeking out ways "not to be boring," rather than talking to your boyfriend about the fact that what he said was hurtful. All anyone should have to do in a relationship overall is be themselves, be open, be communicative, and do what people do to share things and appreciate time spent together.

Given, over time, relationships do tend to mellow out, but there isn't anything wrong with that. The expectation that a relationship months or years in will be as high-key as relationships are when they are brand new is not realistic.

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wifey_type_2
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Yea your right. All i can do is be me. He told me he wants the old me back. He said i changed a little on him. He said the old me made him laugh alot. But to me im not a funny person
Posts: 84 | From: Montgomery | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
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Everyone changes, though. Given you are 18, I imagine you have changed a lot over the past year, as people tend to change and evolve even more often when they're younger than when they get older, and I don't just mean like those grainy puberty films they show in "sex ed" classes, but your whole personality, your values. Those can all change as you are learning and exploring more and trying on new identities to see which one feels right for you. That's normal, and very very healthy. Asking someone or expecting someone to remain in stasis the rest of their life is just, well, absurd and unrealistic. Change and growth, these are all good things, things to work toward and embrace.

How does the rest of your relationship look? Are there areas where you feel things aren't as good as they could be or where you feel you have to conform to his standards and expectations?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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wifey_type_2
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Im actually 19 & i thought since i turned 19 that i should step it up. The rest looks great. He said that me being boring the last 2 times he seen me was the only thing wrong. I dont know how to be the "Old Me" I dont even know what i was doing to make him laugh
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SnailShells
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I think it's a little weird that he's complaining about you being boring the last couple times you saw each other as something wrong with a relationship. We don't always have an amazing fun time with our S.O. or friends. You're not a television show; you're a person. If it was just what you two were doing that was boring, that makes sense. But straight up telling someone that they were boring is rude--I'm sure he's been less than interesting and entertaining on more than one occasion over the months. Could you talk to him and ask what he meant exactly by his comment, or why he felt he needed to tell you?

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“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” --John Waters

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wifey_type_2
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the last few times we seen each other we stayed at the house & watched tv. Neither one of us have jobs so its kinda hard to go out & have fun
Posts: 84 | From: Montgomery | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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