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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Talking with Mom

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Author Topic: Talking with Mom
OxygenThief
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Member # 41433

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I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years, and we've been having (safe) sex for 2+ years. I had been keeping this a secret from my parents - partially because it was really only my business, because I'm of age and we were safe, and partially because I was afraid of them being disappointed in me - but lately it started bothering me to keep it from my mother, because we're very close and have few secrets between us.

Last weekend I finally told her, and it went better than I expected. She wasn't mad or disappointed, and I'm very relieved to have gotten it out in the open. However, I'd like to be able to leave that channel open to talk more about sex openly and honestly with her, and I'm afraid she'd feel too uncomfortable to talk about it with me any further. What is appropriate to talk about with my mom, and how do I broach the subject?

Posts: 3 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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If she's been receptive so far, I don't see any reason to keep those channels restricted.

In other words, it sounds like she's okay with what you've told her so far. You've knocked down a big communication barrier, and though it might be a little awkward for a bit, the hard part is over. The wall isn't going to go back up, you know?

Really, what is too much or too little is going to be decided by your relationship with your mom. Do YOU feel comfortable talking to her about these things? If so, a simple "Hey mom, I felt really relieved to be able to tell you about my sex life the other day, but I want to make sure I can talk to you about sex in general", or something like that, could work fine.

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Abbie
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OxygenThief
Neophyte
Member # 41433

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That sounds like a good opener. We're really open and honest about most things; sex has just never been a huge topic of discussion in our house. I've talked about it with my older sister in the past, but she's out of the country so it's harder to talk with her about things. I'm just unsure of how to approach this since, obviously, it's the first time I've attempted to talk about my own sex life with my mom.
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